


Getaway

by PetalsToFish



Series: TaylorxJily [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Album: Reputation (Taylor Swift), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Poem: Why She Disappeared (Taylor Swift), Quidditch Pro James Potter, Reputation (Original Draft) by Petals To Fish, Slytherin Lily Evans Potter, Song: Getaway Car (Taylor Swift), Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-11-28 21:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20973428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetalsToFish/pseuds/PetalsToFish
Summary: Lily and James' story is fabricated from the pureblood world of black ties and little white lies. War is a circus, not a love story. Now they're both sorry, because traitors never win.





	1. X Marks the Spot

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Reputation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17335484) by [PetalsToFish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetalsToFish/pseuds/PetalsToFish). 

> This is actually the original 'Reputation' fic that I wrote. The first draft was heavily inspired by Getaway Car.  
Getaway Car, funnily enough, is the only song I didn't use on 'Reputation'. That's simply because Getaway Car belonged in this world.  
This world is the world where everything that happened in "Reputation" still happened but two things didn't:  
1\. Snape never told anyone Lily was a muggleborn  
and  
2\. Lily didn't let go of her walls around James  
This is what would've become of Lily, had she not befriended James and instead tried to take matters into her own hands.

_Lily Evans._

The golden string of words followed the footprints that gained on James, who was currently trapped between the statue of the humpbacked witch and the hallway that led to his escape. The map never lied, so even though James couldn't hear her soft footfalls clearly, he knew that the pretty prefect was just about to run right into him. He could just imagine the look on Evans' face when she found him halfway through a wall, carrying illegal booze.

James stuffed the Marauders Map into his pocket quickly before he looked around furiously, realizing he'd gotten himself into a pickle. It was easy to sneak around Hogsmede, the wizard village, but it wasn't easy to navigate Hogwarts after curfew. Especially not with prefects and teacher patrolling the corridors and James had one particularly noteworthy (and most likely bitter) Slytherin Prefect coming his way with wit and a wand.

"Oh, fuck, I'm in trouble." He hissed under his breath as the sound of Evans' heels hitting the stone floor started echoing closer to him.

He could run back behind the statue and try to wait her out, but he knew Evans would at least see his cloak whip around the corner at this rate. Evans was smart, she'd figure something was amiss. She might even know about the passageway. James' cheeks were still flushed from the cold night air and the six pack of firewhiskey in his hand was covered in a slight frosting of dust from the passageway. He pressed the bottles behind his back just as Evans turned the corner.

Green eyes, that's what he saw first. It's what James always noticed first on Evans. They were as bright as anything and always analyzing their surroundings with a cunning intelligence that rivaled his own. Her emerald eyes widened in astonishment when they met James' own hazel gaze as she turned the corner absentmindedly.

"Potter?"

Evans' voice twinkled like bells, echoing off the stone walls.

When James was growing up, he'd always been taught by his father and grandfather that it was better to not associate with Slytherins. He'd been told that Slytherins were cold, distant and couldn't be trusted. He'd been told time and time again, that nothing good ever came out of Slytherin house. He thought that Slytherin house was where all dark wizards and witches were created, products of their dark magic fueled society. James once compared Slytherins to snakes hiding in the shadows and waiting to strike unsuspecting prey.

Evans had a reputation among the school for being quick witted, popular with the boys and coy. She got her way with everything because the teachers adored her, and she made Prefect (to no one's bloody surprise). Despite everyone knowing Evans' name and who she was, James only ever saw her with Severus Snape consistently and her loyalty to her old childhood friend was unnerving. Severus Snape worshiped the Dark Arts; James had seen Snape studying the magic more than once in the Library. James didn't trust Snape at all.

Evans also happened to be Slytherin's golden child. Professor Slughorn, Slytherins head of house, absolutely adored Evans and she could do no wrong in his eyes. Everyone always said Evans could murder someone and Slughorn would find a way to get her out of it. She was probably where the term 'teacher’s pet' originated from.

Of course, James knew Evans from Quidditch. She was a monster on the quidditch pitch and James didn't trust her when he played against her. Off the pitch James only got fired up around her, always ready for her razor-sharp wit to rip him to shreds. James knew she was probably still seething that Gryffindor had managed to get the cup for the second year in a row. Evans had (on more than one occasion) called James a lot of names while flying against him in the games.

It was probably a piss poor choice that James wasn't sober the moment he came into contact with her.

"Evans." he swallowed thickly and threw her a big, fake grin, "Long time, no see."

"Potter." Evans' eyes narrowed, she didn't trust his friendly tone, "What are you doing out of your common room past curfew?"

"I could ask the same of you."

"I'm a Prefect." she stared at him, unreadable, "I'm on curfew rounds."

"Oh right," James nodded, "Forgot."

"You forgot I was a prefect?" Lily tilted her head, "Or forgot about curfew?"

Maybe it was the alcohol rushing through his system but everything about Evans was drawing him in. Even the thin frown currently etched on her face didn't deter him from sending her the biggest grin ever. She hadn't expected him, and he knew she was startled by coming across him past curfew alone. After all, Evans didn't have magical map that told her James Potter was smuggling stolen firewhiskey from Hogsmeade back into Gryffindor tower for a party that was ongoing after Gryffindor won the quidditch cup.

"Well I'm headed back to the common room now," James said, "No need to give out a detention."

Evans looked like some sort of terrifying angel under the torchlight, "I can't give you a detention; Prefects can only take points."

James didn't wipe the stupid smirk off his face, "No telling what you'd do, since Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup."

Evans' frown thinned to a terse line, "Gryffindor got lucky by _two_ points, Potter."

Evans perceptively raised one of her brows and James saw her eyes flutter quickly to his hands stuffed behind his back. James swallowed thickly as Evans took another step into the room with James and the statue of the humpback witch. The torches in the room made warm flickers of light bounce off Evans' pale face as she slyly slid up next to James. He closed his eyes when he smelled her perfume, she was so close, she had to see the firewhiskey.

He was fucked, she was still bitter about Gryffindor winning the quidditch cup. His rival was going to march him right to a Professor for a month’s worth of detention, reveling in the power move. She was a Slytherin, for crying out loud. A member of the house that pumped out bad witches and wizards left and right. They were basically sworn enemies and she'd never let him go.

And then, Evans hummed a small laugh unexpectedly.

James cracked an eye open to find her reaching behind him with a little sneer. She grabbed one of the bottles out of his case and held it up to her face. The liquid sloshed inside the bottle as she wiggled it in front of their faces.

"Firewhiskey." she commented slightly, as if she hadn't found illegal booze in James' hands, "I thought you smelled particularly festive."

Both of James' eyes were open now. Evans was turned towards his shoulders and if he turned his head anymore their noses would be touching. The orange firelight from the torches turned Evans into a golden edged siren, sent upon James to fuck with his mind. She stopped looking at the bottle, lowering it only to find James staring at the curve of her neck. She froze like a doe in a clearing that had spotted danger.

James had looked at Lily Evans every day for six years. They'd shared the same classes and ate the same meals every day. They went to the same quidditch games and rode the same train every year. They saw each other in the courtyard at least once a week. All of these things and yet, James had never noticed the slight pattern of light freckles that dotted across her nose. His eyes traced the patterns like they were a key to a puzzle he wanted to solve.

"Want a drink?" he breathed the only thing he could think of, inviting her to spend more time looking at him with her particularly wide eyes.

Evans looked away from James, glancing down at the bottle in her hand and then back up at James, "don't let anyone else catch you with these." she said, "Kip Gansely is patrolling a corridor above and he'd look for any excuse to give you over to a teacher."

"Thanks." James breathed, not believing his luck.

She turned on her heel and walked away swiftly from him, one of his bottles of firewhiskey in her hand. James saw her fingers were clasped around the bottle like it was going to fall from her gasp if she loosened her grip at all. Evans' knuckles were as white as snow. Her hair was swinging dramatically across her shoulders and she practically jogged away from him. Just for a fleeting second though, she looked back at him and she smiled.

Evans might as well have sent a stunner in James' direction.

He kept a wide berth from her the rest of the school year, determined to not stare at her in a way that could be perceived as anything else but distaste. No one seemed to notice the way James would sit in the front of the classroom so he couldn't gaze at the back side of her head. Sirius, Remus and Peter were blissfully unaware that whenever a group of Slytherins passed them in the hall, James' eyes lingered a little too long on Lily Evans. James noted that she hung out mainly with two Ravenclaws and her Slytherin dorm mate but, always in the shadows of the girls, Severus Snape lurked. He was like a guard dog, warding off any unwelcome looks from people like James.

James didn't like when he also noticed that Theo Knott hung out with Evans' small squad of girls. He wondered if Knott and Evans were a thing after James saw Knott staring at Evans a couple of times in classes but later, he saw Knott's name with Greengrass' name in a broom closet together on the Marauders Map. Knott only followed Evans because of Greengrass.

Snape was the only one who appeared to be the closest Slytherin to Evans.

James didn't see Evans around anyone else. In fact, according to the map, she spent a lot of time alone out on the grounds or inside the charm’s classroom.

When Evans passed James on the train home for the holidays, he saw her look up at him with a certain sort of intelligence that made his heart skip a beat. Severus Snape, always at her side, took her elbow and led her away before she could say anything. When Evans' shoulder brushed James' in the small hallway as Snape pulled her past, he swore he heard saw her smile flicker when their eyes met for the briefest of seconds.

That was the first night filled with green eyes and freckles. Evans’ face haunted his sleep like nightmares only he knew the truth, they were dreams that gave him a reason to never wake up. He drank in each moment of his dreams like they were made of the sweetest juice because when James woke up, reality only reminded him of what he couldn’t have.

He started staring at her whenever they were in the same room. It didn’t happen often but sometimes she would sit outside in the courtyard with her friends, laughing about Merlin only knew what. Evans had few friends, but James noticed that most of them weren’t around as much as one in particular.

Snape was a Slytherin too, with a curtain of black hair that often hid his stone-like expression. Relatively unattractive with a hooked nose, Snape practically was born and destined to join the Death Eaters when he left Hogwarts. Snape once got into a bunch of trouble trying to prove James’ mate Remus was a werewolf. James had barely saved Snape’s life but sometimes, James regretted not letting Remus off the git.

Especially now.

James was thinking he might’ve made a mistake, as he watched Snape and Evans from across the courtyard. Evans was apparently arguing with Snape, her neck flushed, and eyes narrowed. James couldn’t hear them, but he could tell Snape didn’t like whatever she was saying. Snape said maybe, two words to Evans and James watched as Evans stomped away from Snape.

She passed James and his mates, kicking snow onto their robes as she marched away. James thought he saw a streak of tears on her cheeks. James glanced back at Snape and saw he was watching Lily go, a look of defiance on his sallow face. James didn’t like the way Snape was looking at Evans. Something in James’ gut made him lean up off the wall.

Sirius always noticed James’ weird moods and spoke up as James walked in the direction of Evans’ retreating back, “Where are you going Prongs?”

“I’ll be right back.” James promised his mates, “Save me a chocolate frog.”

Evans was shorter, but James spotted her turn into an empty corridor about two hallways over from the Courtyard. With a breath deep as any, James took a leap of faith and followed Evans into the empty corridor.

She was leaning against a tapestry painted with scarlet and gold unicorns, brushing tears off her cheeks. James’ swallowed thickly, not knowing what to even say since she was clearly upset. She was wearing muggle jeans and her wand was stuffed into the front pocket haphazardly. James took another step forward and his footsteps prompted Evans’ head to shoot up.

“Shit.” she said in a strangled voice, wiping at her eyes furiously before shooting him a glare “Potter, did you follow me?”

The only way Lily Evans could ask that was if she’d seen him in the courtyard too. James’ heart skipped the beat at the thought that she might’ve been watching him as much as he’d been watching her. The feeling in his gut was foreign, especially towards her but James knew that he fancied her. He knew nothing could make him feel like simultaneously puking and able to fight off a ten-foot dragon.

“I wanted to see if you were okay.” James’ hand shot to his hair and he ruffled his nervously as he spoke.

“What’s it matter to you?” her voice, normally warm and playful, was edged with bitterness.

James felt like she’d punched him in the gut, “erm, well I don’t know. I uh, you know, I just, well…yeah.”

James’ incoherent babbling paid off for once. When he couldn’t give her a solid answer, Evans tilted her head and wrinkled her nose at him like she was amused by his awkward reply. 

“Yeah.” Evans repeated him, teasing him, “very articulate Potter.”

James jumped onto her teasing, taking it as a sign that she might not hate him, “I’ve been told I have a future in writing.”

Evans snorted and her shoulders squared a little more as she considered him through her wet lashes, “I’ll be first in line to buy that book.”

He stood another step towards her, “too bad I don’t actually want to be a writer, yeah?”

“Oh no?” she was almost fully upright again as he stepped closer and closer to her, “What do you want to do once we get out of this hellhole?”

James was surprised by the venom in her tone, cursing the school, “You don’t like school?” he asked.

"It's filled with gits like you, isn't it?"

"What's got your knickers in a bunch?”

Lily waved flippantly at James, “Don’t you worry about my knickers, Potter.”

James decided to humor her, if only because he wanted to see her reaction. He wanted to see if she was like every other Slytherin. He wanted to see who she wanted to be once she left the school.

“I want to help muggleborns.”

Something flickered across her face and she quickly lost the previous spark she’d given James for half a second. Instead, Lily stared at James warily as she stood up straight and wrapped her arms around herself, bunching up her grey sweater. Her eyes avoided him, and she danced on one foot. Lily’s posture, normally so strong, was frozen. James felt like he was looking at a statue carved from the smoothest granite.

He wanted to reach out and touch her cheek. He wanted to smooth the bunches in her cool grey sweater. James smiled when he saw that her fingernails were painted alternating colors of blues.

“Lily?”

“Lily?” she asked softly, looking up at him again finally, awe reflected in them.

James longed for that look in her green eyes to haunt him forever.

He wanted to dream about those eyes, dream about the caress’ that could accompany them.

“Lily?” she repeated, wonderingly, “I don’t think you’ve ever called me by my first name before. Who imperioused you?”

“No one,” James immediately scoffed.

Lily shook her head, dropping her chin so that James couldn’t see her sad smile, “Slytherins and Gryffindors aren’t friends.” she patted his shoulder and then leaned up and pressed her lips to his cheek, “that’s for checking on me.”

Her lips left a burning mark when she landed on her heel. James was slightly dazed as Lily gave him another sad smile before turning away from him. James grabbed her hand and spun her, making her face him again. Lily narrowed her eyes, clearly not trusting the walk look on James’ face as his fingers locked her in place.

“We don’t have to be _friends_.” 

Lily’s lips partially opened in surprise at his blunt suggestion, but James thought he saw a glimmer of hope. Especially when she started chewing on her lower lip as her gaze dropped to their entwined hands. She took one step to him and then another. The gap between them eventually shortened to less than a nose’s length.

“You don’t even know me.” she said, eyes still wet from her tears.

“And you don’t even know me.” James replied, coarser than he would’ve liked, “but ever since that night you found me smuggling butterbeer in, I can’t stop thinking about the way you looked at me, tell me that I’m not crazy. Tell me you feel something too.”

“James,” his name falling from her mouth sounded like a song he wanted to hear over and over again, “Me and you–it’s a shot in the dark.”

“Tell me you don’t fancy me.” he dared her, tugging again. 

He wanted for her to say it but instead Lily’s heels were lifting off the ground and James’ mind clouded. Her breath washed over his face right before her lips covered his. James reciprocated immediately, his hands reaching up to cup her face. Lily’s lips were soft as they moved delicately against his like a test, determined to read him. James tried not to react too eagerly as her lips parted so she could recapture his lower lip and tug gently, playfully. James met her lighthearted action with a quick brush of his tongue across her hot mouth and she threw her arms around his neck, tugging him even closer. She tasted like the peppermint she’d been eating in the courtyard and James couldn’t get enough of her.

Lily tore her lips from his suddenly, her breath shaky as she lightly kissed across his jaw. Her lips pressed against his earlobe as her arms loosened around his shoulders. James thought he might be dreaming, it was so sudden. 

Shivers shot up his spine as she whispered, “No one has to know.”

And no one did know, if only because she pretended it never happened by avoiding him in the halls like he had the plague. Whenever James caught her eye, she’d purposefully turn back to Snape or her girlfriends. Something was keeping Lily from seeking him in even the darkest of corners. Once, while they were both getting things from the potion’s cabinet, her hands brushed his. James didn’t know if it was a mistake or on purpose. All he knew is his skin was on fire wherever she touched him. 

In seventh year, they were Head Boy and Head Girl together. Lily was never one for talking to him, even when he tried to get her talk. He tried quidditch, music, anything to get her to speak to him again but it was like she was worlds away. She kept quiet in class and never caused trouble on the pitch. It was like someone had drained the life out of her but James just couldn’t figure out what it was that bothered him so much about the whole ordeal.

Maybe he’d thought they’d had a chance at being something other than enemies. He couldn’t help but notice that Lily sometimes looked at him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention when they went over detention forms in the Head office. No matter how many friendly smiles he sent in her direction though, she refused to step through the metaphorical wall that was built between them. She stayed on her side of the wall, content with the relationship they had. There was no arguing, no fighting, just silence.

Something really made Lily want to keep James at a distance.

James’ best mates noticed how he grew quiet whenever she passed in the hallways. They all told him the same thing, to look away. Sirius hated her the most out of all of them, claiming that he saw her snogging his brother once. He said Lily had an obsession with purebloods, probably because she was only a half-blood and wanted more protection. Sirius said Lily would do anything to get under the sheets with a pureblood to secure her safety. 

Time moved on and without anything happening further between James and Lily. They were a pair of people who had kissed and nothing else. Lily stuck to her friends and James stuck to his, neither of them bothering to lean towards the littlest of sparks between them. Even in the darkness of the Hogwarts hallways during curfew patrols, Lily Evans stayed a mystery.

James graduated with honors, both his parents there to wish him well when he was handed his diploma. James got picked up by the Bridgeton quidditch team a month later, his playing skills unparalleled. His parents were relieved, they’d been worried he’d joined the Aurors and fight in the war. James didn’t bother telling them that he was fighting in the war, just undercover.

The Bridgeton Bears hadn’t had a winning streak until James joined the team and, overnight, James became a sensation. He was so much faster than most of the blokes on the team, making him a necessity to win. He was given Rookie of the Year after only six months into the Quidditch scene After that, James was invited to so many parties that he was certain he owned more dress robes than regular robes. It was because of James’ constant invite to galas and parties alike that Albus Dumbledore gave him an undercover position in his secret organization that aimed to help the innocents being hurt in the war.

Dumbledore offered James a chance to make a difference and James took it the second he was offered. Sirius had been fighting for Dumbledore for months with Remus at his side. They’d been working undergrounds and James, with his virtuous status, was working above ground.

Months into his new side-stint as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, James stood in the corner of the Malfoy Mansion, swirling whisky in his crystal glass as he scanned the room for potential Death Eaters. He was only there (on Dumbledore’s strict orders) to scout out the Death Eater spies infiltrating the Order of the Phoenix. He’d been sent alone, despite being new to the Order, because no one would recognize him as anything but the cocky chaser from Bridgeton’s quidditch team. 

James was always invited to the nicest of parties. It was the pureblood parties he hated the most though. They were the ones with black ties and filled to the brim with white lies. James’ family name wasn’t always accepted as clearance, mostly because his family were a decent folk, but because of his connections thanks to Quidditch he wasn’t able to be socially burned by the purebloods either.

In a war, it was good to play the game and James was good at networking and complimenting anyone. He’d had a certain talent for trouble his whole life, which made him an expert at getting himself out of sticky situations. Sirius joked in the last Phoenix meeting that James could probably talk Voldemort himself out of delivering a killing curse. It was because of this talent, James managed to dig secrets out from his peers at the party and there was an abundance of secrets to be told.

No one who actually attended the pureblood parties was even halfway decent. There were lies and plots galore that spread through the sparkling court of purebloods. Every single word always aimed to destroy the lives of others.

Who was friend?

Who was foe?

It was James’ job to find out. 

James was only freshly out of Hogwarts, but he recognized faces of past students who were known Death Eaters now. Malfoy.McLaggen. Crabbe. Babbington. All of them had been smarmy bastards in school, and Slytherins to boot. James narrowed his eyes over his glass as they passed his table laughing about something James wasn’t privy too.

The parties, although lavish, always bored James beyond relief because he had to go alone. He did a lot of things alone, if only because spies didn’t have very many friends. He wished Remus or Sirius were allowed to come to some of the parties, but they were both known Order of the Phoenix members now. They could play no part in James’ game just like he couldn’t play a part in theirs. Only Peter, James’ other best friend, could come to the pureblood parties but as a half blood even he was questionable.

James had always thought fighting Death Eaters would be more exciting, full of wand fights and bloody fatalities but instead it was mostly stake-outs alone at large parties where strangers asked him to dance and house elves handed him whisky. 

He’d been to at least ten of the parties and knew most of the attendees. Guests whispered in corners, laying out plans for political moves that would place dark wizard in power. James listened into conversations, trying to pick up enough to help Dumbledore operate the Order. Lately, all anyone could talk about was new inductees into the inner circle of Death Eaters. James’ heart lurched when he heard Sirius’ younger brothers name. If Regulus Black had joined the Death Eaters, that meant that he’d dropped out of school to do so.

James was sitting back against the farthest wall, sipping on a whiskey and trying not to fall asleep when someone he hadn’t seen in over a year waltzed by on the arm of Nigel Babbington. Her red hair was glossy down her back and her frame was slighter than it’d been in school, but he’d know her anywhere.

“Come on Evans,” Babbington said, confirming James’ suspicions, “you have to see the skeletons dancing out front. Narcissa enchanted them herself.”

James didn’t catch Lily’s reply, but he thought she sounded interested. James tried to glimpse her through the crowd, but she was shorter and eventually was enveloped by bodies. James nudged his fellow quidditch player, Hannah Appleton. Hannah, a player for the Chessington Chargers, looked at James though her black fringe.

“Do you know who that was with Babbington?” 

Hannah had gone to school with James, a Ravenclaw, “yeah, that’s Lily Evans. Did you not recognize her?”

“I didn’t get a good look.” James said back, ruffling his hair, “do you know if she’d seeing Babbington?”

If Evans was seeing Babbington, that meant she was fraternizing with Death Eaters.

Hannah twirled her straw in her drink, “you, uh, fancy her or something?”

“No,” James said quickly, “she just looked cozy with Babbington.”

“Listen,” Hannah leaned in, “you didn’t hear this from me, but she’d cozy up to anyone with pure blood.”

James looked across the ballroom, wondering what direction her life had taken after school. James didn’t know why, but something about her was pulling at his very sanity. It was like her very presence sent him back to their kiss in the darkness of the Hogwarts halls. He wanted to go after her and Babbington, just to find out if he was right and she'd joined the wrong side of the war. Against candlelight flickering from the chandeliers, James shook his head and drank the rest of this whiskey.

He didn’t want to face her, for fear she was someone that he’d have to mention in a meeting with the Order.

He didn’t want to label Lily Evans a Death Eater, not yet.

Deep down, a part of James hoped he’d never have to throw her in a prison cell.


	2. The First Old Fashioned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: hey y'all! If you weren't aware, which you probably aren't, this fic is rated M for a reason. Reputation was a very, very sexy album and therefore inspire a lot of very mature scenes. If you don't like that kind of stuff, this fic isn't for you. Go read the Clean version of Reputation on my A03 instead and gt the same story but at Hogwarts.

Working under a vendetta of spies and top-secret rules, James lived a pretty lonely life. The only time he lived a semi-normal life was when he was at the safe house in Godric's Hollow. Sometimes, his roommates were home too, and they'd celebrate by having a quiet night around the dinner table. James would cook his best recipes. Remus would provide the booze. Peter always had a new game they could play on the living room floor. Sirius would always come through with a pretty damn good story or two.

The weight of the war stood on all their shoulders. Sirius and Remus worked undercover; their identities too easily found out by anyone. Peter and James were working undercover as spies. Peter worked with Marlene McKinnon in the black market, both of them tracking illegal substances being traded on the streets to scared muggles and wizards alike.

James was the only one who got to live the most normal life. He still went to Quidditch practice every morning and flew his best. He got to go out to the store and buy groceries and take a walk in the park without being worried too much. Everyone just made him to be what Dumbledore planned from the start, a rich pureblood who played Quidditch for a living.

At all the parties he went too, there were still sneers from other purebloods, but mostly people respected him. Every room he walked into, he was met with smiles and waves. No matter what game he was at, people wanted to shake his hand and talk to him about the finals. On the quidditch pitch and off the quidditch pitch, everyone assumed he was on their side.

Smile and charm, it's what all the best spies knew how to do.

James tried to act like seeing Lily Evans hadn't completely ruined any chance at information collection at the last party. His eyes had spent half the night searching her out and the other half of the night avoiding blokes from school (Snape) who wouldn't mind killing him. When he'd sent Dumbledore his coded message via owl, there wasn't much to tell.

_Be careful at the next party,_ Dumbledore had said, _these new Death Eaters are merciless to those they perceive as threats._

It was only a week later when he saw her walk through a set of double doors in the Riverview Mansion.

She wasn't the crying girl in the shadows anymore, now she was the life of the party. That night, she was dressed in a beautiful set of dark blue robes that glittered with inlaid sparkles when she walked. Her beautiful waist-length auburn hair was perfectly accented by a curved set of red painted lips. Her face lifted as she entered the room smiling, acting as if a spotlight shone down on her. Lily's hand fell onto the shoulder of his arch-nemesis when he appeared at her side with a bat like swoop.

James felt a kick to his gut when she suddenly laughed, as if something Snape said was actually funny. Two house elves greeted them right away by taking their cloaks and giving them wine. Evans drowned her wine in one second, handing the house elf her glass before sweeping into the party with a royal mannerism.

Lily was biting her smile back and looking up at the ceiling, twirling out of Snape's hand to marvel at the magic above their heads. James looked up too. In festive afterthoughts, the Riverview family had fake snow falling from the ceiling. James hadn't noticed it, but obviously, Lily was finding amusement in the white flecks. She said something to Severus and he only smiled at Lily, like she was his everything.

James guessed she was his. If only by the way he swept her into his side again, leading her towards the large tree where a bunch of their friends and fellow Dark Lord supporters welcomed them warmly. The people who welcomed Lily, acted as if they hadn't seen her in ages, there was so much cheek kissing.

The Christmas tree was only ten feet or so from where James sat. Lily was attached to Snape's side, but her eyes were wandering with interest. He watched as she was led around the tree by a young kid pointing at all the twirling ornaments. She was smiling warmly, like she genuinely cared about what the kid had to say to her. It looked like a Christmas card, especially with the candles on the tree flickering off her skin, but even James knew the scene had a dark undertone.

Death Eaters shook hands, whispering secrets far more dangerous than anything in their glasses. Dark eyes wandered, looking for spies like James but James was unseen in the snake pit. All of a sudden, hazel met green and James was no longer unseen. Lily stared at him, almost like she recognized him, and James wondered if he should fade into the background quickly. Then, almost instantaneously, her expression turned wearied. Lily looked over at Snape, almost like she was making sure he was preoccupied.

Lily whispered something in the child's ear and the child nodded, letting go of her hand. Lily stood upright and brushed off her robes. She started walking to the drinks table and Snape called after her, looking worried. Lily turned methodically and waved his concern away, telling him she'd be right back. Snape looked displeased by whatever Lily had said but nonetheless, he turned back to his friends.

James should've kept eyes on Snape, just to see who he talked too, but as soon as Lily Evans waltzed her way closer to him through the crowd he was struck by a feeling of dread.

What would she do when she saw him there?

What would she say to him?

More importantly, what would he say to her?

James moved awkwardly behind a large gargoyle on the fireplace, pretending to be talking to a couple of fellow quidditch players. Instead, his eyes were trained on Lily. She was talking long, loping steps towards the house elves serving at the bar. She stopped only moments to give someone a smile or a polite hello, but she didn't stay with any of her fellow elites for very long.

As she got closer to the bar and ultimately, James, he was able to get a better look at her. Lily's robes slit up the sides of her legs, giving off a sense of sultriness that the other witches in the room could only dream of. She was all legs, her left thigh showing off a wand stowed away craftily and hanging from a holster. Hands grabbed her like they owned her, and she acted like it didn't bother her, having men wrap their arms around her waist. Instead, she smiled prettily at all of them, acting as if she knew each and every one of them.

She probably did.

James looked down at his feet, peering at her out of the corner of his eye when she finally made it to the bar. She leaned against the solid oak table and her dress robes fell forward at her chest, giving everyone within twenty feet an ample view of the curve of her breasts under her cleverly cut robes. Half of James' fellow quidditch players had eyes on her now, looking like wolves about to pounce on prey.

"Hullo," her voice was still like bells, high-pitched and overly friendly, "I'll take a whiskey, on ice."

One of James' companions leaned close to his mate, "that's the Lily Evans I was talking about."

"She's hot," another whispered, "reckon she'll take a walk?"

"I heard she'll _walk_ with anyone with enough money."

James' knuckles went white against his glass.

One of the house elves bowed low upon spotting Lily, like he knew her. Lily exchanged a few words with the house elf before pointing at the ceiling. The house elf nodded, telling her something James couldn't make out. James stared dutifully into his glass, watching her in the reflection as she leaned against the bar beside his table and flipped her hair out of her eyes. James dared turned slightly, he peeked up at her through his lashes. Lily was leaning into her tiptoes and staring around with a bored expression on her face.

Then, her head turned, and their eyes met again.

Her eyes were clever, intuitive, and smart.

James was going to pay for what he did next, when he winked at her ingeniously. She curved her head, tilting it so she could gawk at him in disbelief. The blokes around James laughed when they saw the exchange and James was clapped on his back.

"Go get her, Potter." One whispered, slightly shoving James.

Suddenly, Lily was no longer alone, an arm was slipped around her waist. Mulciber, a known Death Eater, had his mouth pressed into her neck. Taken aback, James forgot all about anything but the way Mulciber assaulted her so outright. The bloke who'd egged James to go get her, immediately retracted his statement, turning away from the scene.

Everyone knew who Mulciber was, James frowned. A similar look of annoyance passed across Lily's face and she broke eye contact with James. Her hand came out to Mulciber's hair and she yanked him off her neck like he was a leech. Lily rubbed her neck and glowered at Mulciber. James curved his head to listen in, using his ears as best he could.

Her voice was cool and composed, "I heard you wouldn't make it, Mulciber."

Mulciber flushed a deep crimson, "who told you that?"

"A little bird."

"Snape?"

"Don't be bitter because we all know your failures." Lily brushed back her long red hair, sparring with Mulciber with more than just words, "I'm surprised the Dark Lord let you see the light of day."

"Speaking of seeing the light of day, nice to see Snape let his little minx out of her cage." Mulciber's fingers looped around her wrist possessively, "Happy Christmas to us, eh?"

"Let go, Mulciber."

"Come on," He looked positively wicked, "Let's pick up where we left off?"

"I've got plans tonight, sorry." Lily grabbed her drink from the counter and took a swing of the whiskey, "You'll have to find someone else who'll snog you."

"I was thinking something other than snogging." Mulciber's tone was suggestive.

Lily's tone was calm, "find someone else to keep your bed warm tonight, Mulciber, I'm off the market."

"I don't understand how Snape picks your little victims." James froze, "why can't he pick me for once?"

"That would require you to be a spy," Lily looked bored, "and we all know how supportive you are of the Dark Lord."

Mulciber grumbled, knowing Lily was right. James leaned against the wall for support as he realized he'd just gotten a load of information. She was fucking people who Snape thought could be spies. He was actually using Lily, for her body. James felt physically sick. She couldn't possibly enjoy it. She couldn't.

Why did she do it?

"Who's Snape got you on tonight then?" Mulciber seemed upset he wasn't a spy, at least for the night.

"Bagman." Lily sighed, bored with Mulciber's inquisition.

"Stannis Bagman? That zit faced scribe from the Auror Department?" Mulciber's fingers tightened on her wrist, "I can assure you, Evans, I'm better."

"Who I'm fucking or not tonight, that is none of your business." She ripped her wrist from his grasp, "don't make me get Snape."

"That's right Evans, call the guard dog over."

Stennis Bagman from the Ministry, that's who they had to be talking about. Stannis was one of the Order members working on the cover ups in the Auror department, James knew that he was playing two sides for the Order. Dumbledore had said as much before James took his new position. The two never interacted at the parties, if only because they didn't want to be connected to each other in any way.

Lily pushed at Mulciber who was leaning up against the bar, as if she might change her mind, "back off, let me breathe, Mulciber."

"Come on," His fingers wrapped around her dainty wrist and James felt himself standing up straight, hand going for his own wand, "just a quick go in one of the beds upstairs, no one would miss us."

Lily sent Mulciber a spurned look, pulling her own wand out from its holster on her leg, "hands off, Mulciber."

"Come off your high-dragon," he tried to pull her in closer, "I've seen the way you look at me."

"With disgust and despair, you mean?"

James almost laughed when she shot Mulciber the finger, rolling her eyes before finishing her drink.

She was still the same witty witch, that was for sure. James leaned back against the fireplace, knowing she could handle herself.

Lily put the wand in the middle of Mulciber's forehead, "don't make me ask you a third time, Mulciber."

She was a shit dueler in school, but she must've had a steely reputation because Mulciber actually stepped off. Lily didn't lower her wand, clearly, she didn't trust Mulciber. Smart of her, he'd killed plenty of people in his time as a Death Eater.

Mulciber backed away from her with his hands up, "one day you won't be able to resist this anymore, baby."

"I'm _no one's_ baby." She snarled, "remember that."

He shot a hearty '_slut_' in her direction.

"I'm no ones slut either," Lily sighed melodramatically as she stuffed her wand away, "You'll have to get cleverer with your insults, Mulciber."

Mulciber rubbed his chin while still eyeing her holstered wand carefully, "Severus sure did get the luck of the draw with you, Evans."

Her steely green eyes narrowed, "and jealousy looks pathetic on you, Mulciber."

Mulciber disappeared into the dance floor and the woman sighed deeply before grabbing another whiskey and drowning it in one go. When she put the cup down again, she took a deep breath and leaned her back against the bar, looking at the ceiling like she might be praying.

With her back to James, he could finally turn around and stop staring unsuspiciously through eyelashes and glass reflections. He was startled to find Lily's robes were cut so low that he could see the indentations of her back as she drank her whiskey. She had a single tattoo lining her snake slithering up between her shoulder blades was nothing like the snake in a skull that Death Eaters had. Instead, the snake had thick lines and a slim body that stretched down her spine and rested right where the robes gathered in folds at her hips. At first James thought he was imagining it, the snake moving, assuming Lily was rolling her shoulders. And then the snake's head made it from between her shoulder blades to rest at the base of her neck.

When Lily pushed her hair to one side, draping it over her shoulder, James watched as the snake tattoo pulled the rest of it's body up to the based of her neck, resting there. The magic was astounding and James had only seen it once before. Sirius, his roommate, had gotten the moon phase tattooed to his chest when he turned seventeen. No matter what time of the month it was, Sirius' tattoo always reflected the moon pattern. James wondered if Lily and Sirius had the same tattoo artist, as there weren't many wizard tattoo artists in Britain.

James couldn't take it anymore, her standing there alone. He stood up and walked over to the bar where she was. Her head didn't move when he walked around ehr and placed his glass on the bar. She was ignoring him, pointedly, until James placed a hand on the bar next to hers. Suddenly, her shoulders were pulled back and the snake curled up on her neck, as if preparing to strike.

Lily turned her head, her green eyes methodically looking him up and down once before turning her head back to the party. Standing next to her, James realized that she was still on the shorter side. Lily had to look up at him slightly when they were side by side. It wasn't her height that drew him speechless though, instead it was her eyes…always her eyes.

"I like your tattoo." he said, softly, as the people by the fireplace were watching with raised brows.

"Do I know you?" she asked, rather pushy, her knuckles white against her glass.

James lifted his own glass in hello, willing himself to speak again, "James Potter."

"Is that name supposed to mean something to me?" she asked, her head tilting along with her hip.

She didn't remember him. James was half disappointed, expecting a tiny little sparing of words with her. She always did like to use her wit as often as possible. She never shut up when she was playing against Gryffindor for the cup, James once threw the bludger at her face just to shut her up. He half wondered if she was pretending to not recognize James. After all they'd spent countless hours together on rounds in school, it was weird of her not to recognize him.

Lily leaned up off the bar and came to stand in front of him blacking him from the rest of the party. He swore she was made of porcelain; her skin was so white. She had a slight pattern of freckles across the bridge of her nose but other than that, she was like a ghost of a person. James licked his lips and felt his free hand shoot to his hair, a tell-tale sign of nervousness, not that she had any idea.

"What's your name?" he questioned, waiting for her to realize who he was, "When'd you graduate from Hogwarts?"

The woman wrinkled her nose, "who wants to know?"

"I do."

She drew herself up taller, but it did little to intimidate James. If she was a spy for the Death Eaters, she was the least intimidating of all of them. He watched her eyes glance over to the Christmas tree, where Snape had his back to her. She turned back to James just as quickly, a determined look in her eyes.

"Are you flirting with me, Mr. Potter?" she asked.

"Am I?" James quipped thoughtfully.

The corner of her lips lifted just slightly, "I have to warn you, my boyfriend is quite the jealous type."

"Your boyfriend," James considered, "You mean Stannis? Or maybe Snape?"

Her eyes flashed dangerously, and she stepped into him urgently, "How dare you—"

Then her eyes flickered over to the fireplace and James' vacant seat. She relaxed almost instantly. Her composure was cool, but she didn't step back from James.

"Do you often listen in on people having private conversations?" she asked, her finger coming to rest on his chest, "or am I just to believe you just accidently overheard me talking to Mason Mulciber?"

He grinned, "You weren't exactly being discreet."

She was a spy, and it almost broke his heart. He'd have to get her alone and try to get more information from her. Dumbledore would want James to get as much information as possible so other Order members didn't fall for her tricks. There was one way to get a woman like her alone. Nothing was fair, not in love and war. James felt bad the minute he started flirting with her, but he'd do anything to find out how she'd ended up in such an awful position.

"I should have you thrown out of this party."

James stepped into her finger so that it bent back. She was practically pressed up against him now, her eyes staring into him like he was something new that she'd never seen. James reached up to tuck her auburn hair behind her ear. Lily's mouth curved into another calculating frown. James saw the snake on her back had moved behind her ear and was watching James closely with beady black eyes.

"Tricky tattoo." He said, eyeing the snake suspiciously, "does it spit pathetic attempts of intimidation like you do?"

Her jaw dropped and she tried retorting, but James' finger stopped her. He was tracing the black snake as it slithered down onto her collar bone and stayed there. Slowly, her mouth closed, and a challenge arose in her eyes. She put a hand on his wrist, danger in her green eyes.

"Do you know what you're doing?" she hissed, "Do you have any idea?"

"Flirting." James smiled, "figured I'd take a shot after seeing you absolutely destroy Mulciber."

Her expression was nothing short of surpised, "and you wanted to get destroyed just as easily?"

"It would be my honor." He mocked bowing.

For a moment, her expression seemed to flicker, Lily almost smiled. She stepped back and he stepped forward. A kind of dance moving through the room discreetly. As he followed, a real smirk arrived on her scarlet lips.

"I'm afraid I wouldn't want to waste my time with someone like you."

She mocked bowed back at James and _fuck_, if James wasn't falling in love with her just for her sarcasm alone. James skipped forward through the crowd to walk at her side, being careful not to touch her.

"I promise, I'm no waste of time."

"Right."

She resumed her cool disposition and started walking away. This time she wasn't facing him as she walked through the party, this time she was on a mission. She was leading James out of the ballroom and into the flickering hallways. On purpose or not, James didn't know. James took his chances on her; he always did like taking risks and she was the biggest risk he'd ever taken.

"My mate had one of these magic tattoos as well." James ignored her cool temper, "it tells him the moon cycles."

"Is he a werewolf?" she asked with a snort, either distracted or exasperated with James.

"No, but he'd dating one."

That made her expression jump from annoyance to surprise. She turned in the hallway, the flickering lights making the dark eerily like the Hogwarts halls where'd they'd first met each other. It's fire, when she reaches out with one hand and touches his face.

Her fingernail slid against his jaw, "Potter's your surname, you said?"

"I'm a chaser on the Bridgeton team." He said, hand reaching up to stop her finger from chasing his jaw again, "Perhaps you've heard of me."

"Not a thing," Something brightened behind her dark gaze, "but you clearly know me."

James paused and he looked at her, actually properly looked at her. No matter what he did, he didn't recognize her as the girl crying in the hallway. She'd changed so much from school. In fact, Lily had changed into an even deadlier version of her old self. James' eyes traveled across the planes of her rounded face.

"I thought it did." He supposed, "But now I'm not so sure."

"Well, how about I help you figure it out?"

Lily's hand slipped into his suddenly and goosebumps rose up his arms. They were alone in the hallway, save for passing house elves. Somewhere, in the main hall, someone had started singing a chilling version of Silent Night. She took a step away from the main hall, her hand lightly tugging on his.

"If you follow me," she whispered, "I'll assume that's permission."

"Permission to do what?" he was confused, rightly so, not expecting her to give him an option to walk away from her.

"Kiss you, touch you, talk to you." she listed his options, lazily, as if she'd done it all before. 

He was trying to piece her together, trying to understand what she was, so he only nodded. She started leading him away, away from the party, away from people.

Candlelight flickered in the hallway of the mansion, illuminating their shadows on the desk. She seemed to know the halls well as she led him to a room filled with books and sneakoscopes that started whizzing the moment she pushed him into the room. He tilted his head to watch her. The door closed behind Lily's slight push and he was staring her down, reminded of the night she stole some of his stolen firewhiskey right out from under his nose.

"Tell me about that tattoo." he whispered, starting his lucrative interrogation with a simple question.

He had to be careful, if she already sensed that he was a spy, he was done for. They'd end up in a dueling match and he'd never make it out alive.

"My tattoo represents my house." Lily told him, leaning against the closed door as she locked it with her hand, "Why?"

"Were you in Slytherin?" He asked dumbly, because of course, the most beautiful woman he'd ever met was from Slytherin.

"It's where was was raised." she gave a short laugh, "and where I keep all my yesterdays."

"I was a Gryffindor." James said, "we're practically sworn enemies."

He meant it as a joke, but the air flickered between them. Lily looked confused for a moment and then she settled once again.

"Oh, don't get that look." she slung an arm around his neck, "I always believed in inner house unity."

"Did you now?"

He realized she was about to try her best on him, get him to let go of his secrets, he braced himself. He wondered when she turned her back on herself, and let herself fall so hard. It might've been her body, but she was letting Snape control it. He just didn't understand how a woman as strong as Lily could do something so awful. He couldn't take the Devilish look in her eyes, as her fingernails scraped across his jaw.

"I kissed a Gryffindor once."

"How was he?" she was so close; he could smell her perfume, "Kissing wise, I mean?"

She puckered, "You know what they say, Gryffindor."

"What do they say, Slytherin?"

"Opposites attract."

And then she pressed up on her toes and kissed him flat on the mouth. James only kissed her back halfway, determined not to go too far. He wasn't like the other blokes she went after. He wasn't going to just bend over backwards for her. She didn't make his fight early.

Lily's lips were soft, and her mouth was hot against his. She gave him no time to ease into it, her tongue demanding the moment he responded to her mouth against his. She'd abandoned her drink long before they made it to the room, but she still tasted like whiskey. Lily's fingers were in his hair at the nape of his neck as she kissed him easily, like she'd done it a hundred times before.

"You don't have too kiss me-"

He tried to pull away, tried to say something, but she forcibly pulled him back in.

James had to say, it was the most action he'd seen at any of the parties he'd ever attended. His hands cupped Lily's face, guiding her into a softer kiss. She let her hands slide from his hair onto his chest, taking fistfuls of his robes. He let her guide him across the room and the backs of his knees hit an armchair. Lily pushed him into the armchair forcefully and stared down at him with a look similar to a lioness before a pounce. He was overwhelmed, mostly by Lily, because she was everywhere, and hands on. James should've tried to pull away again, but her dark side was beckoning him closer. It tempted him so close, that there was nothing but clothes between them.

James was breathing heavily, the bowtie around his neck feeling more like a noose as she slid one of her sleeves down to show the curve of her breast under the fabric. She was good, James had to give her that, she knew how to draw his gaze. He wondered how many people had gotten so lost in her that they'd given up all their secrets. James realized he was just another person she'd assigned herself too. He should've gotten the Hell out of the party. He should've pushed her away and told her he wasn't stupid, but at the same time James wondered if he could play her the way she'd been trying to play him. He was never one to give up in a fight and as unconventional as their duel of tongues was, he wanted to beat the spy at her own game.

Purposefully, James reached out with his right hand and traced the curve of her hip, eyes mystified. Her chest was rising and falling gently as he traced his fingers around her waist for a tighter grip. She looked to be fighting with herself, eyes fluttering from his face to the door and back again. James' fingers squeezed her hip, beckoning her back to his undivided attention. She eyes dropped to his, a fight in her clear green eyes.

"You seem like a decent bloke, Mr. Potter."

He thought he saw a hint of regret in her eyes. She'd always gotten that look whenever she had to discipline the first years. They might not have been friends in school but James knew enough about her to get by now.

"What about you?" he asked, reaching up to tug on a strand of her red hair, "are you a decent woman?"

She gave him a wanton smile, "my mum certainly thinks so."

"And what do you think?" he whispered.

"Oh, I don't think I'm decent at all."

She was deadly, like a viper, as she deliberately straddled him in the armchair.

James half laughed, half moaned s she settled into him with a purpose, "easy, Slytherin." he said, "why rush things?"

She leaned into him pointedly, "you were at the last party, weren't you Mr. Potter?"

James almost sighed, realizing she was exactly what he thought.

She used her body to fight in the war.

"Why are you here?" James combated, refusing to leave without more answers.

"I said I'd ask the questions." She captured his mouth at that, kissing him candidly, "how long have you been coming to these parties?"

She had to be a spy, one who worked wizards up into a frenzy so she could sleep with them and get their secrets. Trading sex for secrets seemed harsh for a woman like Lily, who had been top of the school in her day. James jerked away from her lips, feeling bad that he'd even cooperated. She hummed her disappointment and drew him back in, fumbling to get him to kiss her back.

"You don't have to do this."

He tried to talk her into rethinking it, her plan, but she just started kissing him dreamily. Her lips were lethal, the weapon she clearly so enthusiastically used. She pulled back, eyes soft as her fingers traced his face.

"I want too." she swallowed, "I-I do."

If she really wanted to snog him, then he wouldn't complain. There were worse ways to spend the night, certainly. He just wouldn't let her go all the way; he didn't want to let himself lose control over the situation. That's when she could take advantage of him. James fell into another round of snogging her, his tongue sliding against hers precariously. The kisses intensified again, and his teeth caught at her lower lip with a hearty tug. James felt lightheaded as their kisses got richer and frenzied. Her other sleeve slipped off her shoulder and Lily leaned forward, pressing down so that James had no place to go.

He realized he had his back to the door.

A rookie's mistake, because Lily might be distracting him so that someone (Snape) could unlock the door and murder him.

He moaned when her hand felt him up through his robes, "You're trying to kill me."

Lily pulled back only slightly, her eyes still closed, "that's not my goal, Mr. Potter."

"You sure?"

"Positive..." she nipped his lip, "I led you out of the graveyard, you'd just better hope the Devil doesn't come knocking."

'What what supposed to mean-"

He was lost in her strokes of tongue and hand; she dropped her spare hand to his robes and tugged the fabric up past his knees. Her hand reached under the fabric, her fingers touching him intimately. His hips sprung up into her soft touch and he didn't even care to hide the glutaral moan that escaped his lips. She wasn't exsactly using him, if he was a willing participant.

Her forehead leaned against his and she nudged her nose slightly against his cheek. Her lips left various kisses across his jaw and then she was kissing his neck, licking and sucking at his pulse point. Her left hand was holding onto his shoulder while her right worked at him. His head fell back against the back of his chair, his own hands tangling into her red hair. He was shamelessly pressing her lips more firmly against his neck.

"You—you don't need—" his speech was slurred, "if you don't want to—we can stop."

"I know I don't need to." She bit at his skin playfully, "But I'll stop if you want me too."

He didn't want her too but he felt bad. Lily's hands were on him, playing with his emotions and rendering him incapable of clear thought.

Damn, she was good.

"Just say the words and I'll leave you alone." she said one more time, her hand slowing its movements, "Tell me to stop, James."

"Keep going…"

He basically lamented the reply; he was so fucking screwed. She laughed silently as kept going as James instructed. She had him wrapped around her pretty little fingers. The buzzing sneakoscopes were background to his pleased sighs as she took a bit of weight off his shoulders. When his breath started getting rougher, her hand stopped moving skillfully under his robes. She was letting some blood return to James' head, smirking at his expression.

She kissed his cheek, "that was for giving me an excuse to get out of that lame party."

She started to move like she was going to leave but his hand caught her wrist.

"I want you to fuck me, right here." He felt the words at the front of his head tumble out of his mouth at their own accord, "Right now."

She chuckled, "Hey, if you tell me where you live, we could go back to your place, finish there."

"We can't," James said she let her hair fall around her shoulders again, looking goddess-like, "my roommates would be outside the door."

"Do you and your friends often listen in at doors?" she asked, eyebrow quirking at him with interest.

"Yes."

"So, they take after you then," she was rocking herself against him but she barely sounded like she was giving him a lap dance.

In fact, she sounded bored.

"They wouldn't be-_be_ listening," he groaned as she reached under his robes again, "they'd be making fun of me. Or you. Or both of _uh-uh-us—fuck—fuck_."

"Shh," she hummed as she ran her fingers along him like she was playing a piano, "what do you do again? Quidditch?"

"I play for Bridgeton." He said as she slowly started to get off him, "I'm a chaser."

"Is that so?" it was cold without her body against his.

"Yeah."

"And are you a pureblood?" she was leaning over him so that there was a space enough for her to pull his robes up to his stomach.

"Yeah."

He was willingly following her bold performance, desperate for her to just keep going. He knew she'd gotten to him, with her magic hands. The only way he was going to make it out of his own mistakes, was by making Lily forget why she'd taken him in there. He had to make her so turned on that she'd stop asking questions. He had to play her by her own game.

Once she'd settled right back down on his lap and began riding him again, he latched his mouth onto her exposed breast, sucking gently. Lily seemed surprised but she still leaned into his mouth, her fingers wrapping around his neck. Her lips slightly parted as he grabbed her hips hurriedly and pressed her down even harder than she'd been before. When he thrust up into her, making her feel him hard and pressed, her eyes fluttered for a second.

That's how James knew he stood a chance.

The snogged readily, bodies sliding against each other only thing time with Lily participating in with more of a kick in her hips and mouth. James melted back into the cushions as she rubbed herself against him with greater need.

"Did you vote for the current Prime Minister?" she asked when he pulled back to breathe.

James ignored her question, so pointedly political, and instead kissed her neck. She tried to drag his lips away, but he knew if she got him to stop kissing and start talking, he'd tell her the truth. He'd give her whatever she wanted because she was damn good at her job. Unfortunately for Lily, she'd tried to fuck the wrong spy; James was determined to win at her own game. He'd always loved winning against her in quidditch, this was just a more intimate sport.

His mouth left her neck. Lily was gripping his shoulders as she continued her sultry engagements on his lap, using her body as a weapon.

"Do you know wh—"

Her next question didn't even make it all the way out of her mouth before James' tongue was shoved properly into it. The room seemed to be on fire as he purposefully built up the friction between them until she was no longer speaking coherently either. She was riding him with a desperate need now, and fucking hell he couldn't open his mouth to tell her to stop, because he knew he'd only tell her he didn't want her to stop.

James couldn't bring himself to care enough that he was enjoying her.

If he was going to die that night, he might as well die by the hands of a severely attractive woman. It was hard to care when her body was grinding against his, so full of desire. James' eyes closed idyllically as Lily arched into him, her breath now matching his in breathlessness. She planted a teasing bite to his chin. He latched his fingers into her more tightly, urging her up so he'd have a better angle to lavish her neck with his mouth. She had a lovely neck and smelled like lavender. Lily hummed appreciatively the moment his lips trailed along her jawline. She seemed to be enjoying him just as much. He wondered if the other men touched her like he wanted too

He really shouldn't have let their little rendezvous carry on any longer but then her legs spread open farther on his lap. James realized in that moment that she wasn't faking it anymore, she actually wanted him. Lily pulled him closer as he bit and kissed her soft skin, her body falling deeper into his until he could feel her shiver when he swirled his tongue by her ear. His hands stilled her hips on his lap, and he slid his left hand up her smooth leg until his fingers traced her inner thigh. His right hand cupped her arse, keeping her put.

She seemed surprised by his confident movements, "trying to feel me up?"

"You felt me up." He deliberately pinched the inside of her thigh.

He was pleased to see Lily's cheeks redden in the darkness. She seemed to not know what to do, now that she clearly didn't have control as his fingers played along her soft skin. He wasn't cruel, he'd wait for her permission. She was still a stranger, someone who'd come for him, probably imagining he'd be an easy person to crack with a few well-placed kisses. She probably hadn't expected James willing to reciprocate her actions and use her in the same way. He pinched her again.

Lily got a brave look in her eyes as she scooted forward on his lap.

"Go ahead," she murmured, "try your best, Gryffindor."

He couldn't stop it if he wanted and he was going to Hell for sure just for fraternizing with the enemy. His thumb flicked up and he dragged it down. She wasn't moving, just staring at him, waiting for him to dare play a game that she'd started. He felt her jump in his lap as he began tracing her searing folds warily. James watched her closely as he finally dipped his finger against her with just the right shift. She laughed at first, as if finding his touch humorous, but her laugh quickly vanished. Her eyes fluttered as he teasingly felt her up. One stroke up. Another stroke down.

Now, James had the upper hand in their little tête-à-tête. Literally and figuratively. Lily's teeth caught her lower lip as body responded to his touch, inspiring him.

"I normally get bored at these things," he said, voice husky as her eyes closed from his ministrations, "but you probably never get bored, so many purebloods like me to fuck..."

Her fingers pinched his shoulder as his fingers switched directions, "is that what you think of me?"

He shivered as her hand wrapped around him, her smile devilish in the darkened room.

The heat between them was destined to grow then burn off as quickly as a wildfire and yet James couldn't find a care in the world.

It was as if she'd asked him to play Truth or Dare, and he was taking the dare.

"You're trouble." He told her perceptively as they both touched each other, trying to win in passion and hands.

"How so?" her was hair falling around her face like a curtain as she rocked forward into his touch.

"Well for one," he said, "you've dragged me in here to try and fuck my life story out of me."

"And? A witch can't fuck around with a bloke and ask him his name?"

"Only if you tell me your name."

She grinned wickedly, "what's a party without a little mystery?"

"I hate pureblood parties." James scowled as he realized he told the truth again and tried to save his bluff, "I mean—"

She leaned back, her hand dropping its grip on him so that her fingers rested inches from her wand in her thigh holster. He removed his fingers from between her legs, wiping the slick feel from them against the folds of her dress. The snake tattoo was behind her ear again, wary of his sudden fumble.

"Well," she seemed dazed, "if it isn't time for me to get going."

He grabbed her before she could move, "Stay."

It looked for moment that she was going to say no, but then her mouth had reattached to his firmly.

He struck the match; she lit the fire.

They didn't trust each other but Merlin, did they fuck each other.

She angled forward, her hands grasping his shoulders as they both felt the shift. She wouldn't let him do anything as they fell into the oldest human ritual. James enjoyed the feel of her hips rutting against his so much that he felt overwhelmed, his hands guiding her hips into a faster stroke. Her hair was a swinging screen around both their faces as he willingly came undone underneath her. She rolled her hips with precise calculations, a smug smile arising on her face as James cursed through his clenched teeth. His hips raised to meet hers it was so wild, that he almost knocked her off the damn chair.

Her teeth started digging into his shoulder as she rocked herself into his hips. She lost it first, the angle sending her body into a jerky motion of shivers that he felt as he desperately tried to hold off. It was too late though, her pleased sight fell against his skin as he finished underneath her. Both of them grabbing at the arms of the chair for support as they breathed. Lily lifted her head off his shoulder, eyeing him.

She tilted her head at him in wonder, "You're blushing."

"I did just get fucked by the prettiest woman I've ever seen." his head was back against the cushion of the chair, he was certain he was about to get struck by lightening for fucking the enemy.

She was red as a cherry in her cheeks now, "You're a charmer, aren't you?"

She didn't get off him, she was too busy staring down at him with the oddest expression. Her hand tucked her red hair behind her ear. The tattoo of the snake was slithering down her neck, coming to rest just above her left breast. James reached out and traced it wonderingly. Lily quivered at the simple touch. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly from riding James so hard and fast. Her forehead was shiny with sweat, making her fringe stick to it. Her dress fell in folds around them, pooling at their waists where they were connected.

She looked like she never wanted to leave him.

A spark of hope lifted his hand to her face.

"Lily?"

His thumb reached up to brush along her cheek.

"Lily." Her green eyes were wide, like a deer caught by a hunter in the forest, "you remember me."

James snorted mirthlessly, "Of fucking course, I remember you, did you think me _daft_?"

She got off him hastily, leaving him revealed and perplexed. She was brushing her dress back down over her hips and thighs. James noted she was looking everywhere but at him.

"I uhm, I have to go." she pulled her sleeves up, covering the last bit of herself, "this was a mistake."

"Where're you going?" he asked, "so what if I remember you?"

She clucked her tongue, "Severus will be looking for me."

"Ugh," he couldn't help but groan.

She tilted her head at James, "You know if he sees you, he'll kill you, right?"

James took his glasses off, seeing as they were smudged, "I wouldn't put it past him."

His response seemed to confuse her more. She danced towards the door; her footsteps silent.

She suddenly turned to look at him, "I thought you might've changed since school, but you're exactly the same."

"Funny," he said, pulling his robes back over his bare thighs, "I was just thinking that you've changed a lot since school."

She was silent, watching him redress.

"What?" James challenged her silence.

In the flicker of the darkness she flinched. She pulled a tube of lipstick, a darker shade than her current scarlet shade. James wondered how many tubes of lipstick she really needed.

"I like the pinker one better."

Again, the truth slipped from his lips. Again, he was struck by the oddest feeling that she'd somehow gotten him to spill all his secrets without a potion. She looked down at him, her arms coming to cross against her chest.

"What's wrong?" he asked, "you brought me here, remember?"

"Sorry," she sniffed, "I forgot myself."

James demanded, "Why haven't you killed me yet?"

"Kill you?"

She stared at him through the darkness, her green eyes soft. She almost did seem sorry that she was leaving him without any explanation. James sat up, brow furrowing. He wasn't dead, so she definitely wasn't totally ruthless. But still, she had to have dragged him into the room for a reason other than shagging him.

"I never wanted to kill you."

"Why did you bring me in here?" he demanded, "you just wanted a shag? What the _fuck_ are you playing at?"

Once again, the words in his head fell out without his permission.

"Honestly?" she shrugged apathetically, "I thought maybe you were one of them."

Her words struck a chord in James' mind.

Had she somehow realized that he didn't belong amongst the bluebloods of wizarding society?

And then she left, quicker than she came.

James sat in the wirring room filled with sneakoscopes that kept buzzing even long after she'd left. He had to apparate home, something hard with how upset he was. Upon entrance to the flat he shared with his friends, Peter got one look at him and stopped him from moving any further.

"What happened?"

"I shagged some woman at the party, and I think she might be a Death Eater spy." James said, holding his forehead, "Lily Evans? She hangs out with Severus Snape."

"Wait, Severus Snape?" Peter cursed as soon as he recognized the name, "did he see you?"

"No, but Lily did."

"Did you tell her anything?"

"Only that I hated pureblood parties."

"What?" Peter did a double take, as if James' reply confused him.

"I do, I hate them." James felt a raging headache coming on, "although this might be the best one, because I got just got my arse handed to me in armchair sex."

Peter rolled his eyes, "Gross James."

James grabbed a half full can of beer off the table and chugged it. Peter kicked at him.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" James complained, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep.

"Women like Evans mix potions into their perfume and lipstick James," Peter said, "You were definitely hit with something. Your pupils are dilated."

James recalled her reapplying a dark lipstick to her mouth after they'd shagged and sighed. He'd been stupid enough not to realize that she'd literally gotten through to James with her lips. James dropped his head into his hands.

"She was wearing lipstick and perfume."

"Probably mixed with a truth potion." Peter guessed, "Did you say anything that she could use against the Order?"

"No." he paused, "She said she thought I belonged there, like she thought I was some pureblood shithead."

"That must mean she thought you were one of them." Peter said, "which is better than her thinking you're one of us."

"If she thought I was one of them," James fell onto his sofa, "she might've stayed around a bit longer."

"Why?" Peter scoffed, "you got laid, what more do you need? I'd love if I got laid once during my missions."

"I wouldn't have complained for a few seconds more."

"Maybe you shagged her so good that she thought better of handing you over to Voldemort." Peter snorted, "maybe, she was supposed to kill you, but your dick saved your life."

"Whatever saved me," James said with a sigh, "she was worth everything."

"Bad idea." Peter said, "she's a Death Eater shagger, I've heard people talk about her at work. She'll shag anyone with blue blood."

"I know, I know."

He didn't really mean it when he said that he'd shag her again. He knew better than going down that road, because nothing good started in the middle of a warzone. She was a pureblood elitist and he was a rebel spy using his charm and wit to get information for the Order. Lily herself had once called them a shot in the dark.

That didn't stop him from imagining the way she'd look at him after they'd shagged, like she really did care about him.


	3. They Never Get Far

The New Year's Eve party thrown by James' quidditch sponsors was boring after so many parties where James had to be ready to defend himself at any second. The party was thrown in a row of tents by the Thames and was protected by magic so muggles couldn't see anything but a bunch of old shipping boxes. James sat with his teammates at a round table laughing over drinks as a rock band played a bunch of Christmas songs and top hits. He was eating pumpkin pie when he saw her, over by the band, rocking along to the music with Stannis Bagman.

James felt himself put the fork down, he was aware he was staring at Lily, but he didn't care. She was wearing black robes that were casual, instead of one of her luxurious dress robes. She wasn't touching Stannis, but she was close enough to him that no one else dared dance with her. She wasn't wearing any lipstick, but that didn't make her smile any less beautiful. James felt sick to his stomach when he saw her lean in and give Stannis a look that had Stannis pull her in closer.

James could help but get up and leave the party. He headed home early, despite protests by his team captain. James didn't want to be anywhere near her. James figured at the next meeting he ought to warn Stannis Bagman that she was bad news, but James never got the chance. Stannis Bagman was found dead on New Year's Day by Alice Longbottom, who'd been tasked with making sure no one found out he was a spy.

The members of the Order of the Phoenix were all in shock, seeing as Stannis played a double crosser so easily. Marlene McKinnon, the forensic path-witch, examined Stannis' body herself. At the February meeting, she announced to everyone that she'd found no evidence of the eye trauma associated with Avada Kedavra.

"It's weird," Marlene said, looking quite like death herself as she relayed information back to her fellow rebels, "most victims of the killing curse have busted retinas but Stannis, his eyes were clear. The only thing I found that was weird was paralysis of some of his muscles."

"A poison, perhaps?" Dumbledore mused.

"Stannis was smarter than to accept any drinks from the enemy." Marlene said, fiercely protecting her best friends' memory, "he wouldn't be stupid enough to drink just anything from anyone."

"James," Alice Longbottom spoke up from her spot at the table, making James look up from his hands, "did you notice anything weird at that party you both were at on New Year's Eve?"

James scratched his head, "the only thing I can think of is how he was dancing with Lily Evans."

"Who?" Alice's expression furrowed.

Sirius, next to James, said, "She's a Death Eater."

Dumbledore, who'd known Lily in school, looked confused, "You're certain of that, Mr. Black?"

"No," James hated himself for saying that, when even he wasn't so sure now, "it hasn't been confirmed."

Sirius looked certain, "she's consistently spotted at all the hot spots, coming and going with Severus Snape."

There were hisses around the table. Snape had a nasty reputation even after only being a Death Eater for about a year. Dumbledore looked concerned, but only for Lily.

"Has anyone else noticed Evans?"

The members who knew Lily from school, all nodded in unison.

"I'll start having Evans tracked." Alice said, writing something down with her quill, "Who wants to take post."

James raised his hand, "I was Head Boy to her Head Girl." he said, "I'll keep tabs."

Dumbledore looked sad as he leaned against the doorframe. James looked back down at his hands and wondered if he ought to tell Dumbledore about what happened at the Riverview mansion. James' embarrassment over the situation kept him glued to his chair. The meeting adjourned, but not before Dumbledore reminded them all to be safe. The war was getting sneakier, deadlier, and full of spies.

James should've been more on his guard for the next party, especially when Lily waltzed back into his life. He'd been warned she'd be here, it was the whole reason he was there. She was with Severus Snape and Amelia Greengrass, a black dress covered in velvet roses. She had bracelets that traveled up her pale arms and her eyeshadow was a striking black. The snake tattoo was resting around her throat like a necklace and was almost pretty, in a hair-raising way.

Lily would've looked intimidating if it weren't for the child dangling on her waist, the same child from the Christmas party. James snuck closer to the door in attempt to hear what Lily, Greengrass, and Snape were saying to each other.

"-have any of the candy," Greengrass was wagging her finger at Lily, who was making silly faces at the toddler in her arms, "you spoiled him at Christmas."

"What kind of Godmother would I be, if I didn't spoil him?" Lily shot back before hitching the child further up on her hips, "Come on Mikey, let's go scout out some sweets."

A man entered behind the group, Michael Riverview, the man who owned the mansion where Lily had gotten the best of James. Riverview wrapped an arm around Amelia's waist and kissed her cheek. Amelia looked at Riverview like he put the stars in the sky, her arms wrapping around his waist. James recalled that in school, Greengrass had a reputation just like Lily's. It seemed Greengrass had married rich and pureblood, probably making her family proud.

"Where's Mikey?" Riverview asked Amelia.

"Lily kidnapped him." Amelia said with an affectionate smile, "they're likely over by the sweets by now."

Riverview looked warmed by the thought, "Maybe we should join them so she doesn't give Mikey a stomach ache again."

Amelia, who was clearly Riverview's wife, laughed as he moved her through the crowd to find Lily and the child. Snape lingered amongst the elite purebloods, but he seemed lost in his own head. Normally, Snape stuck close to Evans. Today, he seemed distracted and not entirely there. Still, James kept his head low to keep Snape from spotting him.

James couldn't resist watching Lily, seeing her play with the child over by the windows as the witches and wizards danced around them. It was clear to James that Lily loved the child, just based on the way she handled him so delicately. She kissed the top of his head a lot and she laughed so much, James almost thought she must've been replaced with a clone. Men sidled up to her and she laughed them off easily, her focus on the child.

She was a creature of grace, acting very different from the sultry woman at the parties before. She remained this way until the child fell asleep and Lily passed him off to his mother, who was sitting drinking tea. Once the child was out of her arms, she suddenly shifted as she began to stalk the room silently, her eyes taking in one person at a time. She was a creature of elegance until she spotted James sitting with some goblins by the fireplace. Something shifted in her step, almost like she'd stumbled without actually falling.

When James caught her eye, he couldn't help but lower his whiskey and stare her down unashamedly.

She looked away irately, her cheeks turning a lovely rosy red. He'd had dreams about her cheeks being that red, dreams where she fucked him in countless sheltered places. James noticed Lily kept Snape far away from James' side of the room. James wondered what Lily thought of James now that she'd seen him at another pureblood party.

He wondered if she questioned her previous statements about him not belonging amongst the elite. She stayed frozen in the middle of the ballroom for a few more seconds before she moved back over to the table where Amelia was laughing with some other witches. Lily sat down by her friend and pretended to be absorbed in the conversation.

James drowned down three whiskeys in a matter of minutes. A half hour later, he was forced to go find the loo, waltzing his way down the dark hall of the Rosier mansion. No one looked twice at James and for that he was thankful.

James disappearing quietly didn't stop Lily from suddenly intersecting him out of nowhere and pulling him into the loo he'd been about to enter alone. Lily had her wand at his neck and his back against the loo door. The door locked behind James as he watched her snake tattoo coil to strike right behind her ear. James' eyebrows rose up into his hairline as he took in her menacing stare and her wand jammed into his throat farther.

"Who _are_ you?" she demanded, a piece of her red hair falling into her face as she held the wand steadily into James like he was Voldemort himself, "Who are you, _really_?"

"Fuck off, Evans."

James really, really had to piss.

He also really, really didn't want to deal with her. Something about her pulled at him, like a tide pulled a bloke out to sea. If he was around Lily too long, he knew he'd be drowning in her again.

Lily kept her firm expression, as if scared that he'd take advantage of her if her glare wavered for even a second, "who are _you_?"

"I feel like we already covered this." James inched away from her wand, "at the Riverview Mansion."

"You _can't_ be James Potter." Lily's eyes narrowed, "You can't be..."

"I said fuck off, Evans." James' tone warned her not to push him, he wasn't calm.

He couldn't pull his wand out on her, it would start a duel and James knew, she had more friends here than he did. Lily didn't back down, instead she looked even more determined to talk to him. When he tried to push her off she only stepped forward again.

"In school," she said, "you told me that you wanted to help muggleborns."

James winced, because of all the things she remembered about him—of course she'd remember the one thing that could get him killed in a party amongst purebloods. James grew defensive, even more so.

"Yeah and in school you weren't a manipulative slut, so I guess we've both changed."

Fire flickered behind her green eyes, "slut?"

"Am I supposed to be sorry?" he hissed, "or did you think I'd forget the part where you kissed me with a potion infused lipstick that made me have sex with you?"

Sparks flew from the tip of her wand and nicked James' neck, "How _dare _you."

"How dare you." James shot back, "did you lose your decency after you graduated?"

"I didn't _make_ you do anything." she had the audacity to roll her eyes, "hate to remind you but, you weren't exactly _complaining_ that night."

"Yeah," James felt his ears go red, "neither were you."

"I got what I needed." Lily said brusquely.

"I'm sure you did." James replied vehemently, "did you get what you needed from my friend Stannis Bagman too?"

That made her pull back, "What?"

James said, "I looked it up and lipstick can be infused with potions that have a higher density." He was stepping into her now, "isn't that how you get wizards to tell you all their secrets? Isn't that how you got Stannis Bagman to spill his guts to you before your mates could kill him?"

"You think my mates killed Stannis Bagman?" she looked appalled, "why would they do that?"

"Because you told them he was a spy." James said.

"Well," She tilted her head at him, "aren't you just Mr. Sherlock Holmes."

James stared at her blankly, "What?"

A red flush rose on her cheeks, "Never mind." she brushed her previous comment away.

He pushed at her, but she didn't budge, "Come on, I need to piss, and I can't do that with you here."

"Why." She pulled her wand away from him, examining her fingernails coyly, "it's not any secret what you've got down there."

James shot back humorlessly, "So, how many other wizards _have_ you slept with for information anyways?"

"None of your business." she snapped, lowering her wand, "Besides, I didn't _make_ you shag me."

"You did _something_ to me."

"Yeah, I fucked you." she retorted, "I don't need any potions to make men want me…which means…" she trailed off suggestively.

"Which means?" James asked thickly.

She tilted her head like a pretty little devil, "You just really, _really_ wanted to fuck me."

James' jaw grew tight, "is that how you defend what you do?"

"We're in a war, git." She blew her stand of hair from her eyes, "We don't all get to choose how to survive amongst the snakes."

"Oh, I'm the snake?" James shook his head, "you're the one with a tattoo of a snake that moves all over you."

The snake curved out from behind her ear as if reacting to her voice, "she's just a reminder."

"A reminder of what?"

Lily licked her lips and leaned forward to entice James, "the worst of crimes."

"She's a reminder of your _crimes_?"

"Snakes are a symbol of sin and temptation." She said, "isn't that what I am?"

James didn't know if he ought to laugh at her or be impressed that she was so self-critical. Under the loo lights, she was actually glowing. Her eyes were soft, not hard, as if daring him to agree.

"That'd be you alright," he finally whispered, "nothing but temptation."

Her maroon colored lips slid into a frown, "funny, I was thinking the same about you."

She still had him pressed up against the door, very distracting in itself.

"Are you a spy?" she asked him suddenly and his chest went cold, "or are you just another complacent pureblood who doesn't care about the war as long as it turns in his favor?"

"Are _you_ a spy?" he countered, "did Snape tell you to follow me and shag me again?"

She sighed as if he'd disadvantaged her, "that goes against my policy, Mr. Potter."

"Policy?"

Her eyebrow quirked, "I never fuck the same wizard twice."

"Where does that leave us then?"

"At a crossroads, I'd say."

Based on the way her eyes were tracing his jaw keenly, she was about to throw her policy into the bin. Her wand had slackened a bit as they spoke but suddenly, it had started poking into the skin of his throat again. The energy between them was pressing but before James did anything with her, he really _did_ need to piss.

"Can I have a moment?" he motioned to their bodies, flesh against each other.

"Why are you here?" she asked, ignoring his question, "are you collecting information for someone?"

"I'm here because I was invited by Mad-Eye Moody and I've never been one to ignore an invitation from an Auror, especially one who's got claims on half the cells in Azkaban." James said, "Now, if you don't mind? I really _do_ need to piss."

"I _do_ mind." She let her wand fall and she crossed her arms, tapping her foot in his direction, "I'm not done talking to you."

"I don't want to talk to you."

That was a lie.

She looked annoyed by James saying that he didn't want to talk to her, "Why?"

"I don't trust anyone that shags blokes for intelligence."

James pushed past her with his shoulder, kicking the toilet lid open as he zipped down his zipper. Lily didn't leave the loo like he thought she would when he took a leak. She was a really hardened spy, he had to give her that. Based on her reflection in the foggy mirror, her expression hadn't even changed as he pissed in the toilet.

"I actually did put on a truth lipstick that night, but I used it on Bagman not you," she cocked a hip, "clever, looking up potions and cosmetics though. Most wizards don't care too much."

"Are you trying to compliment me?" James asked in annoyance, "while I'm trying to piss?"

Her tone remained monotone but he saw the smile on her lips in the mirror, "You're really taking the piss about this lipstick thing, aren't you?"

James almost laughed as he looked behind his shoulder, "is that supposed to be a joke?"

"You know," Her lips curved into the same clever smile she'd given him the night they'd first met, "you're the only bloke who's ever complained about being shagged by me."

"The other blokes didn't know you were about to kill them."

Her expression in the mirror faltered, "You're awfully quick to place the blame."

"I'm sorry," he said cynically, "I thought we were in a war."

"War or not," She kept her shoulders squared, "I'm trying to survive, just like you."

James said, "you seem to like to play dirty to survive, Evans.

"Only with those who deserve it."

James almost snapped his neck to glare at her, "I _deserved_ it?"

She looked taken aback for a moment, her lips forming a soft 'o' before she confessed, "no, no you didn't."

"Well I'm glad you regret at least one of your undoubtedly, many, sins."

James walked over to the sink, washing his hands. In the mirror over the sink, he could see her blocking the door, as if daring him to fight her to get out. James had never fought a Death Eater spy in a loo, but he was thinking he might just be about too. Lily clearly didn't trust him, and he certainly didn't trust her.

"Okay fine," she huffed when he turned and pulled his wand from his pocket, aiming it at her chest in warning, "I may or may not have been trying to get information out of you when I fucked you, but you can't lie and say you weren't trying the same damn thing on me!"

"Pardon?"

"Pardon?" she repeated sardonically before motioning at herself, "don't act like you weren't trying to get me to talk by slipping your hands between my legs, _Potter_."

"I didn't hear you complaining, _Evans_." James repeated her last name with as much heat as she said his, "_quite_ the opposite in fact."

She flushed red, "you're good with your hands but you're a terrible spy, James Potter."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black." James scoffed, waving his wand at her whole self, "the only question is what side _you're _spying for?"

Her lips curved back into a smile, "wouldn't you like to know?"

"I'm just another notch in your wand, aren't I?" he alleged, "you go around and fuck wizards for information to use against them?"

The lights flickered orange and yellow, giving the dim loo a haunted feeling. The colors in her hair were on fire in the everchanging lights and suddenly James wanted something stronger than whiskey in his veins because he was seriously thinking of kissing her again. The color in her eyes was darker in the loo, almost alluring as she stepped closer to him.

Her green eyes suddenly flickered wretchedly, "I'm sorry."

"Are you?" his aggression was gone, replaced with a growing tug at his heartstrings.

His wand tip pressed in the valley of her breasts and his eyes lowered to see her hand reaching up to grasp his hand. When her fingers slid around his, he sucked in a breath and caught her gaze again. Her expression was soft.

"I thought you were a spy," she whispered, "Like Stannis."

"What do you think I am now?" James asked.

"You're a muggleborn sympathizer," she whispered, her fingers tightening around his wrist, slowly dragging his wand down to her stomach where it rested as she traced his panicked expression.

"What?" he asked stupidly.

"I thought you were like Stannis Bagman," she repeated, "but you're not like him, you aren't."

James felt her grip tighten around his wrist. James had fought many Death Eaters, but they'd all been men. There had never been woman before that he'd had to fight. James didn't even know where he'd begin to try and kill a woman, especially one staring at him with such marvel.

"I don't understand." James whispered, "who do you think I am?"

"You're the same boy who came to check on me, when he saw me crying." A small smile lifted her lips, "you still want to help muggleborns."

James didn't understand, Stannis had also been working with the rebels to help muggleborns.

"Stannis wanted to help them too," James said coldly, "and then one of your mates killed him."

"No," she shook her head, "you're wrong."

"Lily," James hitched a breath, "I don't want to fight you—"

Thankfully, it seemed Lily had other ideas to pass the time besides fighting each other. At least, James didn't think she wanted to fight when she unceremoniously closed the space in between them by pressing her lips to his. It definitely wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting, especially since he thought she'd pull out her own wand and be trying to duel him…not snog him to death. And that's what she seemed determined to do, snog him to death. Her kiss was insistent, and James didn't bother opposing, considering it gave him enough leverage to somehow get out of the loo and the house before she turned him into the Death Eaters that she hung out with. So, he kissed her back and without reservation.

James kissed her like they weren't star crossed. He kissed her devotedly and without holding back. Her searing hands burned marks into his back as he wrapped his fingers into her hair and tilted her head to alternate the angle of their kissing. He almost forgot what he was doing, what his goal was, as her teeth captured his lower lip and tugged covetously. His hands fell from her hair to her arse, squeezing possessively.

The shadows of the flickering lights danced over them, strangers, snogging in the loo in the middle of a war. James felt like it was a paradox, wanting her so badly, she was the enemy after all. Using her own hands, Lily pushed her sleeves off until her dress was pooled at her hips and her upper body was exposed to the hot hair between them. The knowledge that he was once again falling for the enemy didn't stop his left hands from cupping her breast, feeling her up gluttonously.

Lily held onto him tightly as her body tested his alluringly, making him press her even farther into the door. They might have only spent a short time together, but he knew how her body worked, and knew how her walls fell. His left hand started pushing her dress over her hips until it slipped to the floor. As soon as his fingers slipped between her thighs, he half laughed, because she wasn't wearing any knickers. He didn't complain, the choice making his job even easier. She hummed ardently at every slight turn of his fingers. Lily kissed him so hard that he thought he might bruise.

The pulse between them was familiar and addictive. She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. The need was there in her eyes, the absolute ache for him.

"Fucking _hell_."

Her voice echoed, bouncing off each close wall. She keened, her body jutting out just to keep his fingers moving. Her forehead crashed into his as if he were driving her up the wall. It was excruciating to see her to desperate, so in the mood for him after she'd just told him she never fucked the same wizard twice. She was sopping in his hands, her voice practically just as dripping with desire. Her feet shook underneath her as she pressed her back against the door and her tiptoes grazed the loo floor.

"What happened to the last time being a mistake?" he murmured, cleverly twisting his fingers against her.

"It's wasn't a mistake." Her fingers clawed at him feverishly, "_you're_ not a mistake."

Flashes of the last party, her body grinding into his on the armchair as her hands kept her hair out of her face blinded his better senses. He wanted her so desperately that he did exactly as she wanted. She was still friction against him as he readjusted himself so that he could shag her right. Her body was doing all the talking for her. While his hands were unbuckling his trousers, she was touching herself with her own fraught fingers.

There was nothing much between them, except false sense of security. They were just two people who were never supposed to be anything, falling into each other like magnets. That false security was enough as James slid into her effortlessly.

She was so damn loud, begging for him, pleading for him to finish her off. His left hand dug into the wood of the door and his right hand cupped her arse to hold her in place. The angle shifted as she slid against the door, losing all ability to control her actions, her body instinctively insistent in meeting his rutting hips. Her fingers were grasping for something to hold onto. She was acting absolutely deprived of his touch, her body reacting to his irrepressibly.

Soon his thighs were trembling, and he was growing messier with each desperate thrust, pure ecstasy naturally tinting his strength with desire. She was tightening herself around him with each eager shove, until he felt the familiar twist in his gut. He pulled out of her just before he came, feeling the results leave as quickly as they'd arisen.

Lily was still holding herself up against the loo door. Her legs slid open wider; both of her hands shoved between her legs. James dropped to his knees without question, grabbing her hips and nudging her hands away with his nose. Lily's hands reestablished hold on his hair as she hissed, indulgence melting her. James licked her thoroughly with his tongue, tasting her in a way that had her voice coming out as permissive mews. It was when his fingers replaced his mouth that she dropped her head back against the door and leaned her body into his touch. Her fingernails dug into his scalp.

She was dancing under his touch, as if she could hardly take it. He stopped playing and stood up, connecting their mouths again as he brushed her clit persuasively. She was trying to kiss him back but her kept catching her breath, whimpering, and begging him to keep it up. She was so close; her entire body was quivering against his wicked touch.

"_James_."

Lily cried his name out like it was her sacred prayer, the relief in her tone suggesting how wonderful she felt. James felt his heart lurch with pride as she slid back onto her heels as she took deep breaths. Her hand was resting between her legs, her expression euphoric as her fingers twisted through his. She stared up at him, her green eyes hazy.

"No one else touches me like you do." she seemed content yet surprised.

_Sweet Merlin._ James took a deep breath and they relaxed under each others stares.

"What are we doing?" he asked her.

"I don't know." Her fingers slipped from his and she slid slowly against the door until she was sitting on the floor, "Should I apologize?"

She sounded so dejected, so mad at herself. Her face fell into her hands and her hair fell like a curtain around her face. James used the sink to clean his hands and then his wand to clean his trousers. Lily was using one hand to slide her dress back up. The silence between them wasn't comfortable, it was full of dread. James swallowed thickly, grabbing ahold of the sink.

"What are we going to do?" he asked her, feeling sick with himself for once again putting himself in this situation, "we can't keep meeting like this."

She was looping one of her arms back through her sleeves miserably, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—" her voice wobbled, "I just...I've always liked you James."

"You have a funny way of showing it." he said.

She snorted bitterly, "I'm so furious at you, for making me feel this way."

"What way?" James turned to find her staring up at him from the floor, looking nonplussed.

She chewed on her lip before saying tenderly, "There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have."

"Pretty sure you just had me."

His hands were in his hair as he realized he'd let her fuck him again if she asked. Did she know how much he liked her back? He hoped not. She was working with Death Eaters and he was working with Albus Dumbledore—the sworn enemy of all Death Eaters. They couldn't be together, not for real. They could only be what they were now, and the very thought tore at James' heart. He was mad at her, angry that she'd chosen to be a spy for dark wizards when she could've chosen the other route.

She could've chosen James back at Hogwarts.

She could've been good and they could've been happy.

Lily had tears running down her face, "James no one can know about this."

James froze as he was taken back to Hogwarts when she shut him out.

"Right." He said bleakly, "Of course, I forgot you only like to kiss me behind closed doors."

Lily wiped tears from her eyes, her mascara running back across her cheek, "No—James—you don't understand—"

"I understand plenty." James said, "you're right, this _is_ a shot in the dark."

She scrambled to stand up as he put a hand on the loo door, "I don't want you to hate me." She begged, "you don't know the full story."

"You've chosen your way," he said darkly, "I've chosen mine."

James opened the loo door, hitting her back as he skirted through it like a deer springing through a field. She was screaming for him to wait, but he was running through the hallway, not daring to look back for fear that with one more look he'd be back with his head between her legs. He jumped landing to landing, needing to get the Hell out of the house before Lily could catch up to him.

She was a good spy, he had to hand it to her. He had almost been one more casualty on her long list of traitors she'd conned into telling the truth too. He couldn't believe he did it again. He felt like an idiot and hurt, mentally and emotionally. The worst part was that he couldn't even blame Lily. He'd been giving her his heart so willingly, under the flickering lights of the loo. He went to a bar and drank until he couldn't feel anything.

He prayed they'd never cross paths again because he knew now, she was like a drug. She enticed him, held him, wrapped him up in the idea what they were capable of being lovers. She warmed him to his toes but left him with a cold aftertaste that sent him spiraling into 'what if's' that had his mind reeling.

He imagined if they had become something like friends at Hogwarts. He imagined playful fights and long-drawn-out kisses beneath the quidditch stands. He dreamed of her making him the priority and her choosing to be good.

He only wished that she'd given him the chance to show her they could be more than dark snogs in Hogwarts hallways and sinful shags at pureblood parties. It was the darkest little paradise, when he was shaking under her hold. Fuck, just needing her was like a shot to the heart.

They might've been flying when they were together, but they never got far.


	4. In the Getaway Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so casual reminder this is just smut with a plot.   
Also this is the last chapter.   
also also I didn't edit this at all   
I have so many things to do but I wanted to get Getaway out of my brain.   
Okay love you bye.

March came in roaring like a lion. Every other day was a storm, forcing people inside and away from the great outdoors. Of course, in the middle of a war, spies never got much sleep. Three order members were murdered in the span of three months. Six Death Eaters were counted as dead or abandoned. There was a spy on both sides, the only problem was no one knew who to blame.

War made an enemy of everyone. 

James had been allowed the chance to join a group of rebels working the black market since he was proving to be useful. Dumbledore had assigned James to a group of spies infiltrating the unground trade of dark materials and James had been doing well, earning the respect of his team. 

It was April when James got his first tracking assignment outside of Lily Evans. While Dumbledore had asked James to keep track of her, she was kinda hard to keep track of unless he fancied tracking down Snape. The last Order member who’d tracked Snape ended up found dead in his home two days after his assignment. James happily reported to Dumbledore that he hadn’t spotted Evans, instead of going to find her. 

That was trouble he didn’t want to get into.

James was assigned to a bloke named Argus Avery. The Death Eater was easy to spot amongst a crowd thanks to his height and tattooed bald head. James had little trouble tracking Avery around London, something he was relieved about. Avery didn’t have a home address, he floated from bars to pubs across England. James tracked Avery at a distance, keeping himself hidden with his invisibility cloak. Avery spent several hours in Knockturn Alley, trading gold for various items but nothing illegal quite yet. 

Dumbledore was certain that Voldemort had Avery looking for something specific, a gold ring. Avery hadn’t even looked at jewelry by the time he’d settled into the pub right outside of Knockturn. James sat at the far end of the bar, keeping his head low and pretending to read the paper. He watched as Avery talked to a number of wizards, most of them complaining about the muggles outside the pub who were protesting some political thing happening in their world. James was having trouble not falling asleep when she caught his eye.

Lily swept into the pub wearing a pretty green cloak that made her green eyes glow even in the dim pub. She had her curly auburn hair around her very pale face. The most striking part about her was the little snake slithering up her neck. Her hand lifted in the air to wave at the bartender who immediately made her a drink. All eyes were on her, as if she meant for it to be that way. 

James knit his brows together as she settled into the stool beside Avery and started whispering in his ear. Avery seemed to like whatever she was saying because soon he had his arm around her shoulders and was pressing her to his side.

Avery had to be more than twenty years older than Lily, but he had his lips on her neck, biting and kissing her like they’d been together before. She stayed at his side through five rounds of drinks. It was her hand guiding Avery up the staircase to the boarding rooms upstairs. James couldn’t help but pull out his barstool and follow them as Lily kissed and prodded Avery away from prying eyes. He couldn’t see them because he followed at a safe distance, but he could hear them snogging against one of the bedroom doors once he’d finally caught up. 

“It’s no wonder the Dark Lord favors you,” her voice was muffled, “sending you on special missions, I wish he could see how favorable I could be to his cause.”

“Oh,” Avery crooned, “You’re favorable in the bed.”

“How would you know?” her voice was teasing, “we haven't gotten that far.”

“Let’s go that far now,” his voice was thick with need, “Snape’s away on his job for the Dark Lord, he won’t miss you.”

Suddenly, there was a shout and a sound like someone choking. James pulled his wand out and aimed it at the door. Nothing happened. No other noises, not even a scream. James kicked the door open and Lily Evans glared James down the end of his wand.

“James?” 

But James wasn’t looking at her. His eyes had fashioned on Avery in the armchair by the fire and he wasn’t moving. Lily glanced over her shoulder and then looked back at James before grabbing his wrist and pulling him into the room with her and closing the door quickly. For a moment he thought she’d run. She was still there when he turned, gripping her wand as she stared at him warily. 

“Did you--was that—” his hands shot to his hair, gripping the strands stressfully, “did you kill him?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck.” James fell back against the bedroom door, staring at Lily in shock and revelation, “you’ve been killing off both sides?”

“What?” she tilted her head, “no?”

“Six Death Eaters have died.” James said, “and three of my friends—”

“But you’re not a Death Eater.” she said brashly, looking as if the very thought was insulting her.

“But you are.” he motioned at her, “and you’re killing _ everyone _.”

_ It was her. _

Mulciber. 

Babbington.

Kanye. 

Dearborn.

Krissington.

Magpie.

McMillan.

_ How many people had died at her hand? _

“Who the Hell are you?” he didn’t lower his wand, not trusting her even when she lowered hers. 

“Lily Evans.” she huffed, as if it were obvious. 

She seemed as surprised to see him as he was to see her. Her eyes dropped to Avery and then rose again to James, looking as if she might bolt. James was determined to keep her around. He waved his wand at her and she was too late to try and stop his spell that bonded her to her spot on the floor. Her cheeks grew redder as she stepped closer to her, looking her up and down. Her snake tattoo was coiling around her neck, almost protectively. 

“I guess I have to be thankful you didn’t slit my throat while we were shagging.” He nodded at Avery’s body, “Why’d you kill him?”

Lily kept her lips sealed shut. James stepped even closer, pressing his wand tip between her breasts, like he’d done in the loo weeks before. She eyed his wand warily, a surprising glow of tears in her eyes. 

“Why’d you kill him?” James repeated, “_ Who _ do you work for?”

She breathed heavily, struggling against the magic holding her in place, “let me go.”

“No,” James said, “Not until you start answering some questions.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“I guess I’ll just have to call the Aurors—”

“Wait!” her eyes grew wide, “If you call anyone, my cover will be blown.”

“Cover?” James scoffed, “What cover.”

Her smile was one part sad, another part stubborn, “Haven’t you guessed?”

“What game are you playing at?” James asked again, “why are you killing purebloods?”

She lifted her chin, “I've got a list of names and theirs are in red, underlined.”

James looked her up and down, “Merlin, are you mad?”

She danced on the spot, “_ We’re all mad here _.” 

“What’s that supposed to _ mean _?” James was at his wits end, shocked to his very core.

“It’s a muggle expression? Alice in Wonderland? Oh, nevermind.” She shrugged, her eyes looking him up and down, “why’d you follow me up here Potter?” 

“I’ve been following him, for _ weeks _,” James motioned at the dead body, “only for you to end up killing him just before I figured out what he’s up too!”

“Your welcome.” She commented dryly, “I ‘spect he would’ve killed you before you figured out what he was doing.”

“And you know what he was doing?” James rolled his eyes, “All that pillow talk actually get you somewhere?”

“I don’t appreciate you judging me, Potter.” Her green eyes flashed, “I do what I have to do, I wouldn’t expect a pureblood like you to understand.”

She turned around and walked over to Avery’s limp body. James watched as she used her wand to slit his wrists. Blood came gushing out of them and she let it flow onto the seat. James was unable to say anything as he watched her fashion a knife with her wand next, placing the knife in some blood before letting it fall to the floor.

“Suicide.” James realized, “you’re framing him for suicide.”

“Well I certainly don’t want to be tracked back to it.” she said, sending James a look.

“Does Snape know you’re killing all his mates then?”

Her red brow fluttered up, “Why does he have to know anything about what I do?”

“Forgive the assumption that he was your bodyguard, since he never lets you out of his sight.”

“He lets me out of his sight.” Lily snorted, “but he also happens to be on a mission for the next two days…”

“Two days to fuck and kill his enemies.” James snapped, “am I the only one who’s had the pleasure to fuck you twice and not be killed?”

“Sure, I shag people to get information,” She crossed her arms,, “But I didn’t shag _ you _ on Snape’s orders at the Malfoy Manor.”

“Oh, I should be thanking you then?” James said scathingly. 

“Honestly, he was annoying me, and I wanted to leave him, but I needed a reason.”

“Why me?” James demanded, the fury clouding his vision, “why not someone else?”

“I told you.” she walked back around Avery’s body so she was next to James, “I’ve fancied you a long time.”

“Fancy someone else.”

Something like anger flashed in her green eyes, “I saved your bloody night that night,” she stepped closer to him in the street, alluring, “Had Snape seen you, had he recognized who I was leading out of the hal? You’d most certainly be dead now.”

James waved her comment away with the back of his hand, “I can hold my own against Snape.”

“Right,” she sounded skeptical, “Anyways, after you walked up to me, flirting shamelessly might I add, I figured I’d snog you a bit, get you to take me to your home and then change my mind about shagging you just before you got me into your place.”

“Have you figured that one out then?” he asked, “which side I’m on?”

“I had you figured out by the first night,” Lily admitted, her expression softened, “You aren’t a pureblood spy for Voldemort. You’re a pureblood rebel working the underground.”

“Why didn’t you kill me then?” James quizzed her, “Why haven’t you killed me yet?”

“It’s not such a mystery,” she said, “think about the place where you first saw me.”

“School?” James furrowed his forehead, “or Malfoy’s Manor?”

“Both.”

“You ignored me in school,” James remembered, “and then you ran away at Malfoy Manor.”

“You _ aren’t _ my enemy.” She raised a hand, as if trying to calm him down, “you have to trust me.”

“How can I trust you?” He snarled, sparks flying from his wand, “you’re a spy!”

“So are you!” she sounded exasperated, “we’re the same person, James.”

“I should’ve never shagged you.” he said darkly.

“To be fair,” she said, “you flirted _ first _, I was planning to ignore you!” 

“So, what,” James said, “Snape and you run some backward double spy operation? Acting like spies to kill other spies?”

“I don’t work with Snape.” She grew defensive, “I work alone.”

“I saw the way he looks at you,” James shook his head, “He thinks you’re his.”

“Oh,” she half laughed, “we were Bonnie and Clyde before I switched to the other side.”

“To the other side?” James’ wand arm froze in place, “what are you saying?”

Lily squared her feet, prepared to duel James, “I’m saying that I only kill people who deserve it, James.”

“And Avery deserved it?”

Something flashed across her face, “Anyone who kills muggleborns for sport, deserves it.”

“But what about my friends,” James demanded.

“What about them?”

“They didn’t deserve to die.” James said furiously, “Bagshot? McKinnon? Prewett?”

Lily was taken aback by those names, “I didn’t kill them.”

“Then who did?” James snarled, “point me in the right direction.”

“I wish I could,” Lily said, “truly, I do, but I hardly ever get out. Snape keeps an annoyingly close eye on me.”

“Why?”

Her wand bounced in her fingers, “I have a predisposition to be kindhearted.”

“What kind of bull excuse is that?” James asked, his wand arm lowering just slightly.

“Snape’s bullshit excuse for treating me like an animal.” her tone was straight acid. 

James realized then that Lily wasn’t playing around, she was a muggleborn sympathizer like him. She used to play Snape’s game but now she played her own, delivering justice to those she deemed deserving of karma. 

“You’re a muggleborn sympathizer?” James said, “but the purebloods _ trust _ you?”

“My reputation precedes me.” She plopped one of her hands on her hip, “the one thing I have Severus Snape to thank for.”

James stared at her through his lashes. Her red hair was plastered to her cheeks and she was holding herself tall against James’ judgmental questions. It was as if she was struggling to maintain her strength, like something about the talking and James was draining her very heart. James realized then that she looked tired. She was exhausted from playing her double act.

“You don’t have to take on the war like a lone soldier,” James said, “there are more people like you who want justice for blokes like Avery.”

“I told you,” she flicked her wand up, “I work alone.”

She was caught up in the chaos around her, acting as if the fate of the war rested on her shoulders. James recognized that he wouldn’t be able to convince her to abandon her post yet, but he hoped that he could earn her trust enough to get her to Albus Dumbledore. He also still wasn’t entirely sure he could trust her though, so he held back his secrets, all except one. 

“Well,” he stepped back to the door, flipping the handle, “Work alone or not, I live at 26 Godric’s Hollow. It’s a safehouse.”

“A safehouse?” she wondered.

James nodded as he opened the door, “it’s untraceable unless the secret keeper gives you the address.”

He disappeared, leaving Lily alone with a dead body in her bloodstained hotel room. 

James didn’t tell anyone about his encounter with Lily Evans. It was at the next Order meeting that Marlene McKinnon stood up from her chair and told everyone of Avery’s death. She ruled his death a suicide.

“He was found by a cleaning lady,” Marlene said, looking annoyed, “According to the bartender, the last person seen with Avery was a woman with brown hair and blue eyes.”

James’ hand shot to his hair and he hissed a curse, impressed by Lily’s attention to detail. She’s altered the memories of everyone who’d seen her except James. Lily trusted James for some reason and she let him know the truth, the real truth. 

Since James’ assignment died, he found himself back to tracking her. Dumbledore didn’t have anything better for James to do, even giving James the opportunity to go into the student files to find hers. They were all hoping she’d have an address James could track but sadly, her file had been lost. James looked in every folder in McGonagall's office and found no trace that Lily Evans had ever attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. McGonagall was the one to save the day when she found James pouring over the files for a fifth time in three days.

“Who are you looking for?” McGaongall’s thick accent cut through James’ study of the documents.

James sighed deeply as he looked up from his tiring search, “Do you know where Lily Evans’ file is?”

“It’s not there?” McGaongall looked confused and came to sit at the desk beside James, “why, I know she had one. I filed it myself.”

James adjusted his glasses, “I know, but it’s not anywhere in this school.”

McGaongall’s nose wrinkled, “perhaps….”

“What?” James egged his mentor on.

McGaongall’s lips thinned, “while she was in school, did you notice who she hung out with?”

“Sure.” James nodded, “Snape and Greengrass.”

“She also was around future Death Eaters.” McGonagall ruffled with papers, “James--she was a muggleborn.”

“What?” James sat upright, almost knocking the folders off the desk, “are you sure?”

“Handed the letter to Hogwarts to Lily myself,” McGonagall said.

James’ hands jumped to his hair again and he sat back in his chair. Suddenly her actions, her weird moods and her stubbornness to fight the war alone seemed explainable. McGaongall folded her hands together.

“Evans was very secretive in school.” she said, “a far cry from the girl I met in Cokesworth. I assumed it was because she was sorted into Slytherin.”

“She was the only muggleborn in Slytherin.” James realized.

“There was one other,” McGaongall prompted his memory, “a younger girl, but she didn’t even last three years. Evans lasted to graduation and the only reason was that she told people while she was in school that she was a halfblood.”

James whistled, “she’s _ muggleborn _.”

The little clues and sparks of information from McGonagall led James to a small muggle town called Cokesworth. The river running through town was murky with pollution and the houses weren’t much nicer. A bartender in the Cokesworth pub had told James that he’d known Lily Evans in school, and she’d come from the East side of town and was often seen with Snape. 

The summer passed with James just trying to track down the muggleborn pretending to be a halfblood pretending to be a purist. He was hardly home, instead staking out in front of Lily’s old home address that McGaongall had pulled from the student registrar. There was nothing for months, not even a sign that anyone lived in her old home. James finally decided in September that Lily must've moved out of town. 

It was October when James came across Severus Snape’s address while pouring through student documents at Hogwarts. Spinner’s End was two streets away from Lily’s street. James took the chance and apparated back to Cokesworth on Halloween, praying he’d even see a glimpse of her red hair. He just wanted to make sure no one had caught on to her game because if anyone did catch on, she’d be killed immediately. 

The town was quiet save for a few stray cats lurking in and out of the shadows. James took up post outside of Snape’s house, the invisibility cloak offering him more cover than most spies could ever hope for. It was hours before he saw anyone on the leaf-patterned street and then Lily appeared around the far corner of the street wearing a black cloak over her red hair. James only knew it was her because of the golden glow from the streetlamps that lit up her neck where her snake tattoo was resting. 

Her beauty struck James, even in the misty evening. She knocked on the door with a demanding sense, shouting Snape’s name angrily. She was alone and there was no one was coming to her knock. on Severus Snape’s door. Lily groaned and fell onto the stoop outside Severus Snape’s home, her red hair tumbling out of the hood of her cloak. James ripped his own cloak off and stepped into the lamplight. Lily looked up, seeing his movement out of the corner of her eye. 

“James,” she breathed, looking almost happy to see him.

“Took me a while to track you down,” he folded his cloak over his arm, “You’re a hard one to catch, Evans.”

Lily stood up and raced under the same light as him, looking up at him like a dream, “What are you doing here? If anyone sees you it’ll blow my—”

“Cover?” 

James stared down at her, “why do you look upset?”

She rolled her eyes, “Just Snape being a git.”

“What’d he do?”

Lily tugged her fingers through her hair angrily, “just the usual promises he can’t keep.”

She had circles under her eyes, like she hadn’t been sleeping. James frowned and realized she looked skinnier too. He looked around before offering her his hand. She stared at it, like he was tricking her. 

“Come grab a drink?”

Lily glanced back at Snape’s door once before taking James’ hand without further question. 

“Come out with me tonight,” he leaned against the lamppost, looking her up and down, “Help me get to know you.”

“I—I can’t.” Lily looked around them apprehensively, “I’m not supposed to go anywhere without Snape because--it’s not safe.”

“Are you scared?” James raised a brow, “What are you scared of that Snape can protect you from?”

“Nothing,” she stammered, “I just—he—he doesn’t like me to go far.”

“I thought you worked for yourself.” James reminded her of her stark words in the rain, “or were you just being proud?”

Her little face screwed up in anger, “I don’t work for him!”

“Then let’s go,” James said, “It’s Hallows Eve.”

“So?”

“So,” James took her hand, “Trick or Treat, Evans.”

James held out both his hands and she stared at him, practically trembling in her boots. She looked around once more before accepting his hands with her own. James couldn’t wipe the grin off his face as he disappeared with her in his arms. There were sirens in the beat of his heart as James realized he was getting involved with a witch who had more pureblood kills on her belt than most. She was a huge part of the revolution and no one even knew her name. 

Except him. 

They appeared street side of Godric’s Hollow, where James’ family had raised him. Lily looked around in wonder, her eyes taking in the fall festive garnish on the lampposts. James let go of one of her hands but kept his other hand firm. He wasn’t about to let her disappear without a goodbye this time, it’d taken him too long to track her down. 

Kids were on the streets, bags already full of candies. Lily and James settled by one of the churches where an older couple was selling apple cider in giant mugs. Slowly, Lily relaxed at his side, her fingers even dancing across his palm as they sat on the edge of the graveyard wall. Her feet hung down, kicking against the stone as she drank her cider. James leaned back, staring up at the sky as the sun sank below the horizon. 

“What were you doing at Snape’s house anyways?” James asked her, “I mean, I’d been hoping to find you there, but don’t you have a place of your own?”

Lily took a deep breath and her cheeks were red, “I do.”

“I waited you know,” he admitted.

“Waited?”

“Yeah,” he kicked out his feet, “at your childhood home. I was hoping to find you there.”

“Why were you looking there?” her nose wrinkled, “my sister moved out of that house a year ago.”

“You have a sister?” 

“Yeah,” she laughed a little, “her name’s Petunia.” 

James leaned closer to her, “I don’t remember a Petunia Evans at Hogwarts.”

She bristled and then she stared at her drink, “no, she’s uhm, not like me.”

“Is she a squib?”

He wanted her to trust him enough to tell him her big secret. He didn’t want to have to say that he’d been basically stalking her. He didn’t want to take the chance away from her to be brave and face her lies. 

“She’s not a squib.”

James loved the pale pink tinge to her cheeks and the way she’d look up at him through her lashes to gauge his reactions to her responses. The air grew colder as they sat still and so James suggested they move on down the block to the pub. She was quiet so he told her about all the Christmas’ spent throwing snowballs into the old church steeple with Sirius. She threw her head back laughing when he mentioned accidently hitting the pastors once. He’d never heard Lily laugh, and, in that moment, he decided he liked her laugh the most. 

“I’ve told you a fair bit about me,” he said as they settled into a booth together in the pub, “tell me about the mysterious Lily Evans—pureblood avenger.”

She glared at him, but he only grinned and raised his mug at her. Lily played with her mug, scooting a bit away from him in the booth as if what he said made her distant. James nudged her gently with his elbow and she looked up in surprise. 

“Or you can just start with your favorite color?”

Her expression softened, making her features come off delicate, “my favorite color is blue.”

James smiled and scooted closer to her in the booth again, “and your favorite band?”

Something sparkled behind her eyes, “the Beatles.”

James tilted his head at her, “The who?”

“I like them too.” Lily said before taking a sip of her drink.

“No, I meant who are the Beatles?” James teased, pinching her side.

Lily wrinkled her nose at him, “You’ve never heard of the Beatles?”

“Where are they from?”

“England!” her eyes sparkled, and he was once again reminded of how lovely she could be when she was alone with him, “honestly, do you live under a rock?”

“They’re a muggle band.” James surmised.

Lily nodded, “The best band!”

James slung an arm around her shoulder, “I’ll have to get tickets.”

“Make sure you get one for me,” Lily said, leaning into his arm, “I’ve never been able to see them live.”

“Why not?”

“Severus doesn’t like me doing anything remotely muggle related.” 

Lily lowered her head, once again building her walls up. James wasn’t about to let Lily go back behind her mask, so he leaned his head closer to her so that their noses were almost touching.

“Snape sounds like an even bigger prick now than he was at Hogwarts.”

She smiled miserably, “You know, once, he was actually a good kid.”

“I don’t believe it,” James said, “He was always into dark magic.”

Lily stared at her fingernails, “He hated you, you know.”

“Good.” James said gruffly, “I hated him too.”

She smiled at her hands, “He especially hate you after you saved him from whatever lived beneath the willow.”

James flashed back to his school years, back to when times seemed simpler and the biggest secret, he had to deal with was Remus being a werewolf. James swallowed thickly and took a drink of his cider. Lily stared out the window, where a light rain had started up. The lamps on the street lit up families still trick-or-treating. 

“I always loved trick-or-treating,” she said suddenly, “Petunia and I used to compete to see who could get the most candy. She always won; her legs were longer than mine back then.”

“What does she do now?” James asked, “Your sister? Does she work for the Ministry?”

Lily pursed her lips, “She married a muggle and swore me off.”

“Why?”

“Because magic isn’t universal.”

James considered then that there was more to Lily Evans than she wished to let on. Lily sighed deeply and turned so that she was facing him in the booth again. Their knees touched and her eyes traced across his face hungrily. 

“Why’d you try and find me?” she whispered, “I’m not—I’m not someone you’d want to get mixed up with. I’m just as dark as Severus.”

James furrowed his brow, “How do you figure?”

She lowered her voice, “I’ve killed people.”

“Me too.”

She opened and then closed her mouth, considering him, “_ you _—you have?”

“It’s a war, Lily.” James reached over the table to grab her hands, “we’re all got blood on our hands.”

She was quiet the rest of the night, until she excused herself. She claimed that if she didn’t get back to her apartment, Snape would go looking for her. They parted as friends, but her fingertips laid against his a fraction of a second longer than they should have done before she apparated home. 

James met up with her for drinks for two weeks straight, mostly both of them choosing to talk about little things that didn’t matter. She told him how she was creating potions in her kitchen and he told her how he caught his best quaffle at practice the night before. James forgot how nice it was to talk with someone about something other than war. 

Of course, sometimes even war broke through the simple questions.

Around the one year anniversary of shagging Lily for the first time, the entire McKinnon family was murdered. James found out from Lily first, when he came across her sitting on his stoop with tears running down her face. He held her as she confessed that she felt responsible.

“If I had killed Nickleson last week,” she sobbed, “he wouldn’t have found out Marlene McKinnon was a spy.”

“But how did he find out?” James said as he made her a pot of tea at his stove, “she’d been safe up until last week. What changed so suddenly?”

Lily pushed her hair back, gripping it to her neck, “some people have been talking—”

“About what?” James sat beside her and rubbed her shoulder, “Nickleson?”

“No,” she glanced at him, “About a spy within the spies.”

“A spy within spies?” James cocked his head, “Like a double agent? Like you?”

She shook her head no as her fingernails traced her own skin, “no, like someone who supports Voldemort and is planted among the Death Eaters to find the rebel spies.”

James reached out to touch her red hair, “do you think that's what got the McKinnons killed?”

Her eyes grew cold, “What else could it be?”

James took her hands worriedly, “Lil, how long do you reckon you can keep up this pureblood murder before someone catches on?”

She stayed stubborn, “I’ll keep going until it kills me.”

“Well that would be a sad day for me,” he said sourly, “I was hoping to convince you to go out on a date with me.”

She sniffed, “You’re better off forgetting about me.”

James dropped her hair and stared down at her, “I’ve tried to forget you, Evans, I really have but you stick with a bloke.” 

“Don’t,” she whispered, “don’t pretend you actually give a damn, I’m tired of men pretending they give a damn about me.”

“I’m not pretending.”

Her head turned, meeting his gaze. The room swirled around them as James stared into her mesmerizing green eyes. In a little over a year, they’d gone from enemies to lovers to friends. He wouldn’t want it any other way, but he also couldn’t let go of his feelings for her either. There was no way of getting over her, she was on his mind all the time.

“You can’t pretend we aren’t a danger for each other.” she whispered, her eyes dropping to his lips like she wanted to kiss him. 

“I’d happily put myself in danger, at the cost of knowing someone you.”

She licked her lips, her hands shaking from holding back from him, “James--you should know--before this goes anywhere--I’m a muggleborn.”

“I know.” he grabbed her chin and yanked her forward, kissing her sweetly, “I don’t care.”

When her mouth connected back to his it was a soft and sweet kiss that James had never gotten from her before. Her lips tasted like cider and her mouth moved against his slowly, guiding him into a pattern of peaceful kisses in the middle of James’ place in Godric’s Hollow. His hands and her hands intertwined in each other’s hair, the passions of their past choices sweeping them into a sense of familiarity. She broke away from him, quietly breathing, her eyes closed shut against the world like she was afraid to open them.

“Don’t go back to them.” He begged, “you can’t keep up with the game you’re playing. Not forever.”

“You make me want to give up everything I have worked hard for.” She said, “you make me want to run away from them, to be happy. But I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?” he trapped his hand in hers, “why can’t you be happy with _ me _?”

Lily tore her hands from his, “I can’t James. I just can’t.”

He took her back to Cokesworth but this time, she made him apparate her to her own home. It was a dingy little apartment flat downtown with flickering lights and people begging out-front. Lily thanked James before walking up the steps to her apartment. 

“Lily?” he called, and she turned, her green eyes glowing in the dark, “you know how to send patronus’ right?”

“Yes.” her smoky breath was lit up by the lights above her head, “why?”

“Send me a patronus,” he said, “if life gets too hard to handle on your own.”

She kept her word. 

They’d meet in secret rendezvous at muggle cafes or in the dark train station. She’d tell him about her dreams, and he told her about his life. They’d bond behind magazines, both of them laughing behind the shiny pages. He’s looking at her more and more like a dream and she’d looking at him like he’s pure magic. 

It was late November, when he started begging her. No matter what, he always tried to convince her to leave her one-woman rebel team. She leaned into him one night in the pub at Godric’s Hollow, their lips almost touching.

“You don’t need to save me,” she whispered.

He found himself pleading, “run away with me.”

Instead, Lily leaned forward to capture his lips for another haze inducing kiss. James led her to his cottage, against his better judgment. The whole place was lit up, probably from Sirius and Remus hanging around. James knew for a fact his roommates were likely already asleep, meaning he could get Lily in and out unawares by them. James skipped her through the garden he’d used to play in as a boy, her fingers already undoing the buttons on his robes. They tripped and fell over each other as James led her to the bedroom at the end of the house. 

Her kisses were familiar, a welcome warmth as she pulled his robes off his shoulders and down his waist, so they fell around his feet in a hapless circle. His own hands had made quick work of her cloak, robes, and underthings. Her clothes had joined his on the floor and they stepped around them, snogging each other distractedly as they fell back into the wall. It was a dazzling fog of hands and moans that were a far cry from the previous sex they’d had. Something about her naked and on her knees in front of him as he sang her name was so telling of her shift in desire. 

With her mouth around him and his hands digging into her long red hair, he was at her mercy. James didn’t mind it at all, instead focusing on the feelings so that he could enjoy every second of her. They hadn’t had sex since the loo at a pureblood party where he’d accussed her of being his undoing. He’d been right, even now. James was under her spell and unable to do anything except follow her instructions and fall into a reverie. 

She was different with him this time. From the small kisses on his thigh, to the way she encouraged him to finish with her mouth so keenly, James was at the mercy of her sultry command. She wiped her mouth when she was done with him. As she stood up and leaned against him, he used the wall for support. Her fingers traced his jaw carefully, her eyes glinting through the dark. James lifted one of his hands to draw her by her chin, kissing her for another desperate tangle of limbs. Lily smiled against his mouth and he felt the sudden kick of something more than lust. 

Something more like love.

James didn’t know how to tell her that his world had just shifted under her touch, so instead, he tucked his hands under her arse and lifted her up. He carried Lily to his bed. She fell back against the feather down pillows, her fingers tracing her own stomach as she stared up at him. She was like an angel, only she was an angel with a dark side that tempted James to the darkness as well. 

James lowered himself onto the bed next to her and started kissing her from between the slope of her breasts and down, down, down to the curly hair between her legs. His hands pushed at her hips to stay down the moment she sprang up to meet his mouth. Lily wasn’t quiet, as per usual. Her fingers wrapping into his sheets as she struggled against his lips and soft tongue. He only stopped to replace his mouth with his fingers, playing with her heartstrings through her clit, hurrying the pace. She was so damn loud, there was no way his roommates didn’t hear her panting his name. James couldn’t give two fucks as she helped him finish her off, her body only stilling after a set of trembles that gave James goosebumps all over his body. 

She kissed him deeply when he was done licking his fingers. Her legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him down into her. The border lines had been crossed and the two spies broke each other as their hearts skipped in time to their manic breathes and fervent sighs. The soft, lazy love making only stopped a little before dawn rose through James’ curtains, placing a halo of light across Lily’s face as she lay spread out beside him. 

She was drawing lines along his torso and he was tracing the tattoo on her back. He pressed hearty kisses to any place he could reach. She was memorizing his neck with her tongue. 

“I never want to leave this room.” She sighed happily, “I never want to go back.”

“Then don’t,” he said, “stay here.”

“Severus will come after us.” She actually seemed scared, “he’ll come after _ you _.”

“Let him come.”

“James, _ no _.”

“Why do you let him scare you?”

“He doesn’t.” and then even softer, “okay, maybe he does a little.”

James pressed his forehead to hers, “but why?”

She was cross eyed, looking up at him, “he knows my secret.”

James reached between them jokingly, “it’s no secret that you’re an absolute animal in bed.”

“Muggleborn, remember?” she glared at him.

“Oh is that still a secret?” he bit her neck, “I thought we’d established you were a hot, smart and loud muggleborn.”

She laughed, proving his point, when he tickled her sides. When his fingers stopped she sobered again. She sighed and flopped herself away from his tempting hand.

“Did you know Snape’s been using _ my body _ to control his enemies since seventh year.”

“I figured.”

“And I just sat back and let him.” she looked close to tears, “I was so desperate to stay safe.”

“I don’t like the role he makes you play.” James nipped at her ear, “Even if it did bring you back into my life.”

“I don’t either, but I got smarter in the nick of time,” She turned her face towards James again, her lip curling, “I realized I can control Snape with my body too.”

James frowned, “you don’t have to sleep with people to win a war.”

Lily got a challenging look in her eyes and James knew he was in trouble. She rolled him onto his back and sat on top of him skillfully. He lost his train of thought the minute she started grinning down at him devilishly.

“But it’s so _ easy _ to control a man when he’s on his back.”

James half-laughed and half-groaned as she poised herself gracefully, “easy, or we’ll miss breakfast.”

“Who needs breakfast?” she was already making him hard with her fingertips.

“You ought to taste my pancakes.” he quipped. 

“I think I just want to taste _ you _.” 

Her hand fully wrapped around him and he shuddered, “_ fuck _.”

She slid down his body, watching as his hands dug into the sheets of the bed. She straddled one of his legs and leaned down to take James into her mouth. His struggling asps for air were all he could manage as she licked him like he was covered in chocolate. She stopped as soon as she started, if only because she threw one leg around his hip and started a dangerous grind. There was no escape as she thrust herself against his groin, his own hips bucking of their own accord. 

His hands grabbed her thighs to guide her toxic grind into his body, “go on baby, come on, tell me how much you need me.”

“I need you so much.” she was working herself up and she leaned forward, placing her lips against his chin and biting down, “I break all my own rules for you though, Potter.” 

“Is that so?” he felt so fucking good with her all over him that he was hardly able to talk.

“I swore I’d never fall in love,” She kissed the middle of his chest, rocking her hips slowly, “_ Just look what you’ve made me do _.” 

He found his heartbeat racing again as she pinned his down to his bed. Her mouth met his, then dragged along his chin possessively. She was branding him as her own, not that she didn’t already own him with each desperate buck of her hips grinding against him. She found a place of friction, her fingernails putting crescent moons into his shoulders as she rode against it. 

“You have me falling from grace, just to fuck you_ . _”

“Don’t stop,” he encouraged, “Merlin, please.”

She was panting against her own movements, little gasps of pleasure joining her breathes. She was digging herself deep on his thigh, sweat gleaming on her forehead once again. She danced in his hold, barely coming undone only to keep going. 

Finally, she lowered herself onto James with a grateful sigh once he filled her up. She was killing him with each push of her hips. Their fingers laced together in front of them before she pinned his hands on either side of his head as she leaned forward to switch up the angle. She’d stopped talking, if only because mouth had found better, more time-consuming things to do against his. By the time she had finished him off for a satisfying fourth time, James came so easily she’d barely had to move. 

Lily laid across his stomach, fingers tracing the curls of hair on his chest. He had his fingers tangled in her curls, his lips pressed to her temple.

“All those other men,” he whispered, “did they touch you like I do?”

“They were just playthings for me to use,” she whispered, “I rarely actually fucked any of them. I just got them right where I wanted them with a little skin and a lot of hands.”

“You are _ very _ good with your hands.” he conceded, “but I’d prefer if your hands could stay on me, at least for now?”

“I only need you, James.” she promised, “I’d feel guilty touching other people, only thinking of your hands all over me.”

James ran his fingers through her hair, “I don’t blame you; I’ve been told I’m particularly irresistible.”

She swatted him and then kissed his jaw. Her lips dragged up to his mouth until they were snogging again. Her mouth tasted bitter and her lips were rough from all their kissing. Lily only pulled away when they both heard a radio turn on outside the door.

“I need to get back home.” she said, “before anyone sees us.”

“No,” James grumbled unhappily, “Stay.”

She frowned deeper, “this isn’t for the best, you know that, right?”

“Why?” he leaned onto his elbows.

“My reputations never been worse.”

Lily rolled off James and started collecting her clothes from the floor. James watched from his bed, covered in debris from their long night. Lily pulled her robes on over her head and buttoned the buttons, looking anywhere but at him. He saw tears drip onto her cheeks. 

“Lily, come back to bed.”

“I can’t.” she sniffed, “I have to go back to putting on the show.”

“Lily—"

“James,” Lily was crying now as she put a hand on the door handle, “this, what we have between us, it’s delicate.”

James launched out of bed and leapt across the room to grab her face in his hands, “How much are my words worth to you?”

“They’re everything to me.” she promised him, her tears falling onto his hands now, “that’s why I can’t stay with you--if you got hurt because of me I’d _ never _ forgive myself.”

“I can help you, if you’d let me.” James assured her, “I work for a man who can help you, protect you.”

“I don’t trust anyone James,” her hand left the door handle, “and nobody trusts me after the things I’ve done to get on top.”

“Lily please—”

“James, let me go.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” and the tears only came out faster, “so much.”

He whispered, “I love you, for you.”

“I—I’m—I have to go.”

“Lily!”

He shouted after her, but she was gone, and she took his heart with her. 

November turned into December. It had been a year since he’d met Lily in the Riverview Mansion and now, he was right back there. He’d only gone as a favor to Remus, who was supposed to be there but suffering from a bad cold post full moon antics. He kept a low profile, looking all the while for her.

She walked in wearing a blue gown and it was like his heart lurched to his throat. She looked skinnier than ever and there was no sign of the same woman he’d seen a year ago. She’d lost herself, clearly, during her journey. James waited until she’d slipped over to the bar and then he pulled her behind the ice sculpture. 

“James.” Her lips were full and red, “what are you doing here?”

“What happened?” he asked her, “you don’t look well.”

Lily looked around before whispering, “they know there’s a spy.”

“You _ have _ to leave him,” James didn’t even bother saying Snape’s name, “you can’t keep this circus act up, Lily! It’s killing you!”

Lily grabbed his hands, “but I’ve seen him, James.”

“Who?”

“Voldemort.” her eyes were tearing up, “And if I can just get him to trust me like I did with the others maybe I can end this once and for all.”

“No,” James said firmly, “No, Lily this is a fools game.”

People were coming over to the table. They were going to be caught talking secretively. That wouldn’t go over well so James pulled his invisibility cloak over them, took her hand, and led her back to the only other room he knew in the mansion, the snekoscopes room.

“How did you get an invisibility cloak?” she marveled as they walked through the party unseen.

“Family heirloom,” James replied as he showed her into the hallway, “let’s go.”

He didn’t take the cloak off until they’d reached the room of past conquests. The door was shut and locked behind them. Lily flung her arms around his neck and buried her face into him. James hugged her back, relieved to see she was alive. For now, at least.

“James.” She said, “Severus, he’s keeping me practically locked up.”

“Then leave.” James said again, “I’m your prison break, Evans. I’ve got Sirius’ motorbike outback.”

And for a second, she looked as if she saw the light of freedom on his face, then her expression darkened again. She shook her head against him firmly. 

“Not yet,” she whispered, “I need to finish what I started.”

“Lily,” James pulled her out so he could look her in the eyes, “traitors never win, if you keep this up, you could die.”

“I know,” she said, “I was scared to tell you before but—if I never see you again, I want you to know…I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I wish I’d been braver. I wish I’d gotten to know you in school, if only so that maybe my life wouldn’t be so fucked up now.”

“Don’t say that,” he whispered back, “we’ll see each other again.”

She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly. She tasted like peppermints. 

“I’ll find you,” she promised, “once I’m done.”

“Lily—”

But she was pulling away, wiping her eyes and walking to the door. 

“Are we destined to fall back together,” he called after her retreating back, “each time we fall apart?”

Lily’s knuckles were white against the doorknob, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“I wanted to leave it all,” her eyes lifted to him, “you gave me a reason.”

In the middle of the night, in his dreams, he knew he was going to be with her, so he waited. A week turned into a month. He still hadn’t heard from her. The Order members were spread thin and he was working double shifts. Rumors were spreading that Voldemort had a new weapon. James had trouble sleeping at night because he was so worried about Lily. 

That meant he was no longer going to wait for her. 

On one cloudy January morning, James stole Remus’ car to get to Cokesworth. He’d only driven for about three years, after getting Peter to teach him. Still, James thought a car was less conspicuous in a primarily muggle town like Cokesworth. 

Lily’s living complex was even more drab in the daytime, a far cry from the magical world she’d once lived in. James realized that she didn’t have a job, so she must’ve been living in the only housing she could afford. For some reason, the thought of Snape making her live this way in the first place turned him livid. She opened the door when he knocked, dressed in nothing but her bathrobe. Her red hair was still dripping wet down her shoulder from a likely shower. 

“James?”

She wasted no time in pulling her into her flat and slamming then locking the door. Her hands were all over him, tracing him like she’d forgotten him in their time apart. Her touch was nothing compared to his hands, gripping her cheeks and looking for any signs of damage. 

“What are you doing here?” she exclaimed through his examination, “James, stop!”

“I had to make sure you were okay.”

Lily pushed James off her and looked at him like he was breaking her heart, “do you want to _ die _?”

“I was worried about you!” he said, “I didn’t hear from you!”

“Well no shit,” Lily put her hands to her forehead, “there was a reason for that!”

He grabbed her shoulders, “Listen, the Order, they’re saying that Voldemort has a new weapon.”

“I know.” she said, “he’s got a Legilimens.”

She didn’t seem too concerned and James knew she probably didn’t know what it was, “You’re sure?”

“I heard Dolvolv mention in while I was working at a party two weeks ago.”

“Do you know what that means?” James gripped her shoulders, “do you understand?”

“It means, “Lily said, “that I stayed away from you so that the moment that mind reader gets around me it’s not over.”

“That’s not how that works Lily,” he said, “they can see anything that races through your mind, no matter the time and place.”

Her face whitened, “you mean, anything I’ve thought about for the last few weeks?”

James licked his lips, “If it’s a full-fledged Legilimens, they’ll know you’ve been offing the Death Eaters. They’ll know _ all _ your little secrets.”

“All?” her lip trembled, “all my—but—”

James pressed his forehead to hers, “you have to getaway, Lily.” He begged, “I can’t lose you, okay? I just can’t.”

It hit him like an Avada Kedavra to his heart, the thought of losing her to the cruel war. 

She was shaking her head, tears staining her cheeks, “I’m _ so _ sorry James, they probably know you’re a spy. They’re probably plotting my death.”

“No,” he hugged her close, “it’s going to be fine, because the only one who’ll be fucked by it all is Snape.”

“What?”

“You have to come with me,” he told her, “before the mind reader infiltrates everyone and kills you.”

“But what if the mind reader already _ knows _?” Lily panicked, “What if they’re after me right now?”

She had a point, they still didn’t know who the Legilimens was. 

James grabbed Lily hand and tugged, “let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Home.” he said, “we’re going home.”

Lily didn’t argue. She took his hand and grabbed her wand from the countertop where cauldrons were stacked alongside dishes. They could come back for her things later, or James would buy her new things. One thing was for certain, they weren’t safe inside her flat. 

James dragged her down two staircases and pulled the keys to Remus’ car out of his robes. Lily stared at the keys incredulously.

“You drove a car?”

“It’s hard to trace muggle things.” he explained, “I was planning for anything.”

She looked at him adoringly, “I love you.”

He kissed her wrist as they pushed open the doors to the street, “let’s get to the getaway car before you get all sappy on me.”

Suddenly, Lily froze on the steps. The door slammed behind them as James was pulled back by her solid hand. James followed her scared gaze and found Severus Snape, leaning against the nearest lampole. He was twirling a wand in his fingertips, looking at James with every bit of dislike. Even James couldn’t deny the cold feeling that washed over him.

They’d been so close to the getaway. 

“Severus.” Lily’s face was red, looking like she’d barely dodged a bullet from a muggle gun, “I--I was just—”

“I knew you fancied him,” Snape’s black eyes were dark pits, “after I caught you snogging him when we were kids, but I thought you promised to stay away from him?”

“Severus,” Lily stepped in front of James, as if to protect him, “don’t hurt him. Please. If you care for me at all you’ll leave him alone.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Snape snarled, “especially now that your lies have caught up with you.”

Lily paled, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Take me,” James offered, knowing there would be a fight, “Snape, leave Lily out of this.”

“I figured you’d come back,” Snape finally spoke to James, eyes burning, “since she was so willing to spread her legs open for you.”

James couldn’t resist the snark that escaped his mouth angrily, “Jealousy looks shite on you, Snape.”

“Jealous!” Snape sputtered, “I love her more than you ever will. Everything I’ve ever done was for _ her _ and you came along, like you always do, and ruined everything!”

“Everything you’ve done was for yourself. Fuck you.” James shot back angrily, standing side by side with Lily as he pointed his wand at Snape, “You never cared about her or anyone, just yourself.”

Snape had enough, there was a flash of green but Lily jumped out, pulling James to the ground so the spell missed their heads. Both of them were quick to jump to their feet. Snape had improved his dueling skills since school, it took Lily and James to hold him back. Curse after deadly curse was avoided as James danced around trying to bring an end to Lily’s perpetrator. 

“Go, go, go!” James pushed Lily towards Remus’ car and threw her the keys, “Start the car, I’ll hold him off!”

James was sweating, pushing back at Snape’s frontal attack with everything he had. Lily was fumbling to open the door when one of Snape’s spells shattered the passenger side window. James tried to focus on keeping Snape from firing more spells in Lilys direction. When he heard the car start behind him, James walked backwards until his hand had grabbed the handle of the nearby door. 

“Get in!” Lily screamed at James.

“A little busy!” James shouted back.

“I’ve got him,” her forehead was bleeding as she leaned between the seats and shattered the back windows to start dueling Severus while James got into the car, “_ Reducto _!”

The lampost over Snape burst, raining debris over Snape and distracting him. James had barely shut the door before Lily had the car in drive and went from zero to fifty with a sharp press on the gas peddle. Her wand had fallen on the dash between them and James was leaning out the window, shooting protection spells on the wheels of the car as Snape raced down the road after them. He was apparating, trying to keep up, but the car was fast. 

“He can’t follow us, right?” Lily’s voice was filled with panic, “we’ve lost him, right?”

James shook his head, “not unless he knows how to read minds.”

“What if he was the mind reader?” She pressed one of her hands to her forehead, “Oh god, he had to have been.”

“Why?”

“How else would he know I’d been fucking you?” she gasped, “he’s known this whole time.”

“He couldn’t be that skilled at Legilimens.” James argued, “he never knew how to read minds in school.”

“No,” she agreed, “It's new.”

“I wonder how new.” James said darkly, thinking about all the things Snape might know now simply from Lily’s mind.

“Very new.” she said almost assuredly, “no one was talking about a Legilimens until he got invited into Voldemort’s inner circle a few weeks ago.”

“Either way,” James said, “once we get home, we have to contact my boss.”

“Who is your boss?” she asked with piqued interest as she turned onto an old country road.

“Albus Dumbledore.”

“You work for our old Headmaster?” she looked across the dash at him, “All this time you’ve been Dumbledore's spy?”  
“Who did you think I was spying for?” James asked.

“The Prime Minister.” Lily shrugged, “she’s pro muggleborn and trying to weed out Death Eaters in the Ministry, I spoke to her once at a pureblood party. She was very nice.”

James looked at her affectionately, loving the way the wind whipped her red hair around her shoulders. It had started raining and the rain was coming in through the busted windows. She was quiet for a moment and then she actually giggled softly.

“What are you giggling about?” he asked. 

“How relieved I am that I never have to go to another pureblood party.” she admitted, winking at him as they drove down the A101, “do you think it's safe to pull over? We need to repair the windows before rain gets into the leather seats”

“Well there’s nothing but sheep out my window so I guess it’s safe.”

Lily laughed again, acting like she was free from the weight on her shoulders as she pulled the car to the side of the empty road. James followed her lead and got out of the car, both of them using charms to fix the broken windows and dented frame. James was thankful she’d thought of it, because the rain was plastering his hair to his head as he fixed the last window. They met at the front of the car, Lily almost running into his absentmindedly as she held up her hands to the rain. Her face was pointed at the sky, like she hadn’t felt rain on her skin in a long time. 

James couldn’t resist running his hand down her cheek before pulling her in for a wet, soggy and heated kiss. Her arms wrapped around him, her soaked body pressing into his thankfully as she tasted the rain on his lips. 

“Now that you’re switching to the other side,” James said, reaching down to grab her hand, “There’s definitely no reason to keep your act going.”

She smiled, “No, a circus act doesn’t leave much room for a love story...now does it?”

“That’s okay,” the rain was pouring down on top of them but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he kissed her sweetly before saying, “I am sorry.”

“Sorry? About what?”

“That you won’t be able to finish your mission,” he said, “I know how much you wanted to use your reputation to your advantage but after tonight, your steely reputation is definitely dead.”

Lily leaned up on her tiptoes, “and I truly feel alive.”

  
  



End file.
